3 hours Ago By People
A woman is in a disagreement with her husband after failing to thank him every time he has brought her tea. Venting about the situation on Reddit , the woman, 38, said her husband, 39, has been leaving tea for her on the kitchen table every morning for the past 5 years as he makes it while making his coffee. "It’s one of those sweet, comforting routines in our marriage," she said.
“The other day, he brought me my tea as usual, and a few minutes later said, kindly but pointedly, 'You didn’t say thank you for your tea.' I was surprised and a little upset. "I didn’t think I needed to say thank you every single time - especially for something that’s become a part of our everyday rhythm," she continued.
"It’s not that I’m not grateful; I am. I’ve told him many times how much I appreciate the gesture and how much it means to me. I just didn’t think it had to be acknowledged every time.
” The PEOPLE App is now available in the Apple App Store! Download it now for the most binge-worthy celeb content, exclusive video clips, astrology updates and more! Related: Woman Is ‘Very Hurt’ After Her Partner Chose to Bring His 22-Year-Old Daughter to a Family Wedding Instead of Her The woman said it sparked a "broader debate," with her husband arguing appreciation should be shown "every time your partner does something kind, no matter how routine." However, she believes "while appreciation is important, expecting a daily thank you for something habitual starts to feel transactional.” “We’re now at this sort of philosophical impasse,” she said.
“Should you always say thank you for every repeated kindness in a relationship, or is it okay to let some things go unspoken once they’ve become part of the routine?” Curious to learn other people's opinions, she asked, "AITA [am I the a-----] for not saying thank you that one morning, and, more broadly, for thinking I shouldn’t have to say it every single time?" The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now! The post racked up hundreds of comments, with the majority of responses telling the woman that she should show more gratitude. “It's surprising to me that there are people in the world that are handed things and don't say thank you,” one commenter wrote. “Him making you tea is a habitual nice thing he's doing for you, why is you saying thank you not a habitual nice thing you can do for him?” Another said, "Saying ‘thank you’ to a spouse should come easily to the wife.
If anything, it’s even more important to say thank you when the kind gesture is something a person you love does for you every single day. If the husband had been rude or scold-y about it I would understand being taken aback, but even then—just say thank you, it takes half a second!” Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Related: Woman 'Unknowingly' Moves to Germany With Army Husband, Then Stays For 10 Years A third commenter penned a lengthy response critiquing the woman's behavior towards her husband.
"YTA [you are the a------]...
.not so much for the not saying thank you (I'll get to that later) but for being upset that he brought it up and is daring to share with you how he feels and what he would like from you," they wrote. "It's it awfully weird that when someone hands you something FOR YOU, you don't say thank you? Gratitude takes 1 second and zero effort AND your husband is telling you he would appreciate it, and you're still digging your heels in? "I mean sure, we don't always say 'thanks for getting the mail' or 'thanks for driving the kids to school' if it's part of the routine of chores, but a single 'chore' which is bringing you food/drink to your place at the table, absolutely gets a thank you," they continued.
"He's physically handing you something, you say thank you. "And when your husband says something is bothering him, and brings it up to you, and it's something so small and a 'gentle ask' such as this, you listen, and you do what he is asking of you, because you love him and want him to NOT feel unappreciated," the commenter added. Read the original article on People.
