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Some people have started wondering if Barack Obama and Michelle Obama 's marriage is on the rocks. Enough so that the former first couple are very aware of the divorce rumors that just won't quit , never mind that the 44th president of the United States and his forever-first lady posted their usual heart-melting tributes to each other on Valentine's Day and remain a rock-solid unit . But, having heard it all during her almost 30 years of public life , Michelle has taken the speculation in stride.
In fact, now that she's doing more podcasting, you can hear the amusement tinged with frustration in her voice. “We, as women, I think we struggle with disappointing people," the IMO with Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson cohost said on the April 9 episode of Work in Progress With Sophia Bush . "I mean, so much so that this year people.
..They couldn’t even fathom that I was making a choice for myself that they had to assume that my husband and I are divorcing.
" Not that she and her spouse of 32 years had never been the subject of split rumors before (celeb couples, it happens to the best of 'em), but the choice she was referring to seemed to be her decision to not attend certain recent high-profile events, starting with the Jan. 9 state funeral for former President Jimmy Carter . Barack Obama did attend, as did all of his fellow living former presidents and their spouses, including the not-always-at-everything Melania Trump .
(Who, incidentally, also triggers marital-estrangement speculation every time she does or doesn't go somewhere with her husband.) Michelle's advisers relayed to CNN that she had a scheduling conflict and was still in Hawaii, where the Obamas vacation regularly and have owned a house for years. And while her absence from Carter's funeral may have been the impetus for this current spate of divorce rumors, many also guessed that she simply didn't want to socialize with then-President-Elect Donald Trump , winner of the 2024 election over the Obamas' preferred candidate, Kamala Harris .
File under darned if you do, darned if you don't: Seated next to Trump, Barack Obama took plenty of heat online for appearing to look too chummy with the once-again incoming president during the service. Less than two weeks later, though the Obamas' office gave a heads-up that she wouldn't be attending, Michelle took a pass on Trump's inauguration as well, fueling the exact same conversations that erupted after she skipped the funeral. But listening to Michelle explain her thought process later, she sounded like any extremely busy woman who had to choose whether to over-extend herself once again or give herself a break (minus any contentious political context ).
“I get to look at my calendar, which I did this year, with a real big example of me, myself, looking at something that I was supposed to do—without naming names—and I chose to do what was best for me," she told Sophia Bush on the One Tree Hill alum's podcast. "Not what I had to do. Not what I thought other people wanted me to do.
" The 61-year-old—who shares daughters Malia Obama , 26, and Sasha Obama , 23, with Barack— continued, "That was an important test for me, just as a woman, as an independent person. Because like all women and a lot of people, I operate from guilt: What should I do? What is the best thing for everybody else? Because it’s easier for me to say, 'Well, I did this because it was what I was supposed to do.'" Referencing the divorce rumors that sprang from her absence, she cracked, "This couldn’t be a grown woman just making a set of decisions for herself, right? But that's what society does to us.
" And while the default setting may be to just say yes because it's easier in the short run, Michelle said, "We start actually, finally going, ‘What am I doing? Who am I doing this for?’ And if it doesn’t fit into the sort of stereotype of what people think we should do, then it gets labeled as something negative and horrible." But, she added, "The interesting thing is that when I say no, for the most part people are like, ‘I get it.’ And I’m OK.
And that’s the thing that we as women I think struggle with, disappointing people." Meanwhile, her husband has never sounded like anything less than the luckiest guy in the world when he talks about his wife. “Happy birthday to the love of my life,” Barack captioned a Jan.
17 Instagram post in celebration of Michelle. “You fill every room with warmth, wisdom, humor, and grace—and you look good doing it. I’m so lucky to be able to take on life’s adventures with you.
Love you!” And while Michelle has retaken control of her calendar, Barack is still making up for lost time, i.e. the eight years they were in the White House and then some.
After leaving office in 2017, "I was in a deep deficit with my wife ," the 63-year-old said at an April 3 event at Hamilton College. "So I have been trying to dig myself out of that hole by doing occasionally fun things." Michelle acknowledged in 2018 that she and her husband were "finding each other again" after his two terms as president.
"We have dinners alone and chunks of time where it's just us—what we were when we started this thing: No kids, no publicity, no nothing," she told People . "Just us and our dreams." None of which is to say that the Obamas' marriage wasn't stress-tested at times.
Hence the couple going to marriage counseling, where, as Michelle put it in a 2018 conversation with Oprah Winfrey , she at first hoped the therapist could fix her husband. "I wanted to bring him in to have another person tell him 'Get yourself together,'" Michelle explained. But what she ended up realizing, she added, "was that it's not my partner's job to make me happy.
We have to make each other happy. There's a part of me that was waiting for him to do for me, and I didn't need him to do it, I needed it done. I was having arguments, not about it getting done, but about him doing it.
" Counseling ended up being "one of those ways where we learned how to talk about our differences," Michelle told ABC News' Robin Roberts in 2018. "I know too many young couples who struggle and think that somehow there's something wrong with them. And I want them to know that Michelle and Barack Obama, who have a phenomenal marriage and who love each other, we work on our marriage.
And we get help with our marriage when we need it." And she knew that, having spent time in the most glaring of spotlights, there will always be interest in how she and Barack are doing. "Because we’re role models," she told People , "it’s important for us to be honest and say, if you’re in a marriage and there are times you want to leave, that’s normal—because I felt that way.
" Over the years, she continued, "There were definitely times when I wished things were different, but I don’t think I ever thought, ‘I’m just checking out of this.'" Checking out of an event she simply doesn't want to go to, however, is another story. See the many moments from Barack and Michelle Obama's marriage that have always given us hope: In July 2020, Michelle opens up about her marriage on her podcast.
"One of the reasons I fell in love with you is because you are guided by the principle that we are each other's brothers' and sisters' keepers...
," she shares . "I can say that my family, my neighborhood, my notions of community growing up shaped that view, and shaped the choices that I made in life as I felt your experiences shape yours." The couple uplifts graduates during the Dear Class of 2020 event.
The couple exchanges smiles as they wait to greet South Korean President Lee Myung-bak and his wife Kim Yoon-ok . Picture-perfect! President Obama shares a tender moment with Michelle during their Mother's Day gathering at the White House. All smiles! The two unveil their official portraits during a ceremony at the Smithsonian's National Portrait Gallery in 2018.
The duo hands out candy to trick-or-treaters on the south lawn of the White House. The president places a gentle kiss on his wife's cheek. Michelle ensures the president is handshake-ready before their meeting with Singapore's prime minister.
The President gives the First Lady a thumbs up before meeting with Singaporean Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong and his wife Ho Ching . Before their meeting with Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and his wife Gursharan Kaur , the couple sneaks in glances at each other. President Fonz gives the camera a thumbs-up while Michelle looks equally bemused.
The adorable couple makes each other giggle before meeting with Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi and Agnese Landini . The duo is captured sharing a long embrace after learning that they will be POTUS and FLOTUS for four more years in 2012. The president and his leading lady celebrate his re-election by enjoying a slow dance at the Commander-In-Chief's Ball in January 2013.
The two share a slow dance at the Neighborhood Inaugural Ball in 2009. The duo flashes their gorgeous smiles as they dance at the Obama Home States Inaugural Ball in 2009. The pair soaks up the moment at the DNC in 2008, after then-Sen.
Obama officially accepted the nomination as the first Black man to be the lead candidate of a major political party. The couple shares their excitement at a Minnesota rally after Sen. Obama learned he had clinched the Democratic nomination for president in June 2008.
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