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TOM UTLEY: No wonder Starmer looks so bewildered behind his freebie specs when he's presiding over this circus of clowns By Tom Utley for the Daily Mail Published: 20:48 EDT, 19 September 2024 | Updated: 21:09 EDT, 19 September 2024 e-mail View comments Those of us who saw David Lammy embarrassing himself on Celebrity Mastermind, back in 2008, would have been astonished to be told that this man would one day become our Foreign Secretary . Perhaps it would be cruel of me to remind readers of some of the answers he gave in the general knowledge round on that famous occasion. But I’m afraid that’s not going to stop me, just as it has never stopped countless others before me.
Asked what was the married name of the scientists, Marie and Pierre, who won the 1903 Nobel Prize in Physics for their research into radiation, he suggested ‘Antoinette’. ‘Curie,’ corrected John Humphrys, the quizmaster. Which fortress, built in the 1370s to defend one of the gates of Paris, was later used as a state prison by Cardinal Richelieu? ‘Versailles,’ thought Mr Lammy.
No, the Bastille. Which variety of blue English cheese traditionally accompanies port? ‘Red Leicester.’ Many of us who saw David Lammy embarrassing himself on Celebrity Mastermind, back in 2008, would have been astonished to be told that this man would one day become our Foreign Secretary, writes Tom Utley Who acceded to the English throne at the age of nine on the death of his father, Henry VIII, in 1547? ‘Henry VII.
’ Wrong again. Edward VI. Nor is it reassuring to know that, just five years after the event, the minister now in charge of our foreign policy thought Georgia’s Rose Revolution, which led to the resignation of President Eduard Shevardnadze, happened in Yugoslavia.
(If you’re interested, Mr Lammy, that’s the former Soviet republic of Georgia – not Georgia, USA). Now, I would almost feel sorry for the poor fellow over the performance he will never live down, if only he were not the Foreign Secretary. Indeed, I can well imagine my own mind seizing up under the glare of those spotlights, in that forbidding black chair.
Confusing In fairness, I should also record that one of my sons, who taught children who lived in Mr Lammy’s north London constituency, testifies that he was very nice to the young and a diligent MP. But, like it or not, he is the Foreign Secretary. What’s more, nothing he has said or done since he made such a prize fool of himself on Celebrity Mastermind has convinced me that we saw anything other than the authentic Mr Lammy in that black chair.
Take his decision to block 30 of the Government’s 350 licences to export arms to Israel (all of which amounted to less than one per cent of that country’s arms imports), while declaring that Britain remained firmly committed to Israel’s right to defend itself. At the best of times, this would have been a confusing decision, sending out a mixed message that could only annoy our allies, while pleasing nobody much except the Hamas terrorists. But for Mr Lammy to announce it in the very week when Hamas murdered six Israeli hostages in cold blood? Doesn’t that suggest a staggering lack of diplomacy from the man who is supposedly in charge of the diplomatic service? Then there was his baffling decision, reported in yesterday’s Mail, to fly two Bisexual Awareness Week flags in the courtyard of the Foreign Office.
With Britain’s interests under grave threat all over the world, why on Earth is our Foreign Secretary fussing about people who fancy hanky-panky with members of either sex or both? Troubled Now he has sparked a full-scale diplomatic row with Armenia by writing in a blog post that Azerbaijan has been able to ‘liberate’ territory it lost in the 1990s. Is he unaware that Britain has repeatedly condemned Azerbaijan’s brutal conduct in its long-running conflict with Armenia – or that what he describes as the ‘liberation’ of Nagorno-Karabakh has been slammed as ethnic cleansing and genocide by the former Chief Prosecutor of the International Criminal Court? But then how could we expect a firm grasp of the politics of that troubled region from the man who muddled up Georgia and Yugoslavia all those years ago? Read More TOM UTLEY: Why is it so easy to say sorry - except when we're at fault? Equally eccentric, meanwhile, was his announcement this week that climate change represents a more pervasive and fundamental threat than terrorism or an imperialist autocrat. ‘While I am Foreign Secretary,’ he said, ‘action on the climate and nature crisis will be central to all the Foreign Office does.
’ Speaking for myself, I’d much prefer the holder of his office to stick to his own job, concentrating on the immediate threats facing us in this increasingly dangerous world, rather than wringing his hands over an issue that Britain can do precious little to influence. After all, this country produces less than one per cent of the world’s carbon emissions. Or does Mr Lammy imagine that through our example, and the power of his oratory, the leaders of countries such as China and India will mend their ways? Fat chance.
On that point, I just wish that the man who is actually in charge of our energy policy took a more realistic view of what this country can afford to do to clean up the air. But the Energy Secretary, Ed Miliband, strikes me as downright deranged in his dash to bankrupt the country in pursuit of his dream of net zero. Did you catch his speech on Tuesday, in which he told the Energy UK conference he wants to take on the ‘blockers, delayers and obstructionists’ who stand in the way of Britain’s energy security? Had he seen sense at last and decided to confront those who oppose fracking and the development of North Sea oil – the two resources most likely to assure our energy security? Some hope.
In fact, of course, he was squaring up to those who don’t want to see what remains of our beautiful countryside carpeted in vastly expensive and unreliable wind farms and solar panels. As for the country’s most egregious blocker, delayer and obstructionist of our route to abundant, affordable energy, well, buy yourself a mirror, Mr Miliband. Nothing he has said or done since he made such a prize fool of himself on Celebrity Mastermind (pictured) has convinced me that we saw anything other than the authentic Mr Lammy in that black chair Nor do I see much evidence of intelligent thinking among others who sit at the Cabinet table.
Look at Jonathan Reynolds – the Business Secretary, God help us – who tells us that the ‘culture of presenteeism’ (by which he means turning up for work) damages productivity and that working from home boosts output. I can only assume he has never attempted to get through on the telephone to HMRC, the Home Office or any other department of state or business whose employees stay away from the office en masse. Caterwauling Meanwhile, Lisa Nandy, the Culture Secretary, vows to look at changing the law, so as to ensure that in future tickets to events such as next year’s Oasis concerts are priced within the reach of ‘ordinary fans’.
Does she not understand the most basic law of economics – that prices go up when demand exceeds supply? As it happens, I’ve long had a pipe dream to own an original painting by Renoir. I look forward to the day when Ms Nandy ensures that Renoir originals are priced within the reach of this ordinary fan! And don’t get me started on our bopping, jumping, caterwauling Deputy Prime Minister, Angela Rayner, whose idea of respectable ministerial downtime is to go clubbing in Ibiza. As for the man who presides over this circus of clowns, Sir Keir Starmer seems to have a permanent look of bewilderment in those eyes, behind the top-of-the-range freebie specs.
Could it be that, deep down, he’s just as clueless as the man who thought Marie Antoinette won the Nobel Prize in Physics? Georgia Share or comment on this article: TOM UTLEY: No wonder Starmer looks so bewildered behind his freebie specs when he's presiding over this circus of clowns e-mail Add comment More top stories.
