4 hours Ago By Simon McCarthy
Kylie Thompson wants you to remember her name because, on a list of more than 100 other women, she is the outlier. She is still alive. Login or signup to continue reading Ms Thompson has lived, as she describes it, a "big life".
She has worked in humanitarian aid, has lived and worked in some of the country's most iconic locations, and until 2024, believed her life with her young son was "truly blessed". Last year, she moved to Darwin to try to help her child forge a closer relationship with his father, but after only nine days, she would flee the state with little more than the clothes on their backs after he drank himself into a rage and threatened to kill her. She and her child were left with almost nothing - they were homeless - but, she says, they were safe.
Tragically, she fell in with another abuser, and the cycle of horrific violence repeated. She was forcibly drugged, she said, sexually and physically assaulted, and once again had to flee for her life. Now, she is angry.
She is calm like a bomb - words she has tattooed on her arm as a mantra and homage to the Zack De La Rocha lyric - and she wants to break the cycle. "It's not hard to raise a child to be kind," the Hunter survivor said as her young son played in Civic Park on Saturday, where a modest crowd of women and a few men came to memorialise the names of 117 women killed by acts of violence in the last 14 months. Fourteen women have died in Australia just this year.
Ms Thompson's retribution for the violence and trauma that has been inflicted on her is to raise her son to be a better man than those who came before him. They have a poster stuck on their fridge at home that reads, "Be a dude, not a douche". "I was raised by an incredible father who taught me that I should not expect violence and that if I did, the men around me would protect me," she said.
"It wasn't until he died that I realised that was a load of bullshit." Ms Thompson said she cannot "fix" the perpetrators of violence against women and children. That, she says, is "the men's problem", but she has a unique insight into the systems that have failed to help women in danger like herself.
Now, she knows better, and she wants to do better. "(I see) a system failing, not just one group of people but multiple groups of people, and it's a pretty easy fix," she said. "It just takes basic empathy and compassion for your front line services and to listen, and then we're solving that part of the problem.
" Hunter Women's Centre coordinated the weekend memorial with front line support services Vocal, which provides legal support for victims of violence, and Nova Women's and Children's Refuge, coinciding with a national day of protest to call attention to the number of women killed in acts of violence since last year. "I feel very humbled and very grateful that they were brave enough to share their stories," Joan Raper, a former police officer and now support service provider at Hunter Women's Centre, said of the survivors who spoke at the event. "But what saddens me is that this is a common story that we hear every day.
" Nova CEO Brittany Jack said the local refuge for survivors fleeing violence - one of eight in the region - had supported 1700 women and children in 2024, a marked increase from the 1200 survivors five years ago. Yet, she said, the lifesaving service had not seen an increase in its core funding. "When you look at the big crime statistics, on the macro level, the two areas that are really the only ones increasing are sexual assault and domestic violence," Ms Jack said, noting that since the COVID pandemic, support services like hers had seen consistent increases in calls for help.
"I don't think that's because there's any more sexual assault or domestic violence than there ever was. I think it's because we have started talking about it. "In about ways, it is a sign that we are winning because it is coming out of the shadows and women are asking for help, but the tragedy is we have not scaled up services enough to actually deliver that help.
" As the assembly gathered in a candlelight vigil to hear the list of names of women killed by violence since 2024, the message and the plea were clear: the cycle needed to be broken, and men, in particular, needed to be part of the solution. "This a men's problem, and women have been tasked to fix it," Ms Raper said. "That's shit.
" "Men have mothers, grandmothers, daughters, sisters, cousins, granddaughters. Why aren't they standing here protecting them?" The memorial in Civic Park on Saturday, March 15, was mirrored in at least 14 cities around the country, spurred by Australian Femicide Watch and the Red Heart Campaign, advocating for better funding and legal changes to stop violence against and abuse of women. Reporter, Newcastle Herald.
Reporter, Newcastle Herald. DAILY Today's top stories curated by our news team. Also includes evening update.
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