The seven words you should never say to a sleep-deprived parent

This story is part of the April 20 edition of Sunday Life. See all 11 stories . Before becoming a mother, I imagined bedtime with kids would be like an episode of The Waltons .

All my little angels tucked into bed with polite goodnights ricocheting around the house. “Goodnight, John Boy.” “Goodnight, Mamma.



” Unfortunately, the Waltons were f---ing liars. The only sounds that bounce around my house are slamming doors, shrill cries of “I’M NOT TIRED!” and the thud of my own feet as I march between bedrooms. Our sleep routine falls apart quicker than shortcrust pastry.

In fact, sleep, my lack of it, other people’s opinions on it, and my children’s excuses not to do it, have ruled my life since I first heard that newborn cry. Finding time for sleep as a parent with young children can feel impossible. Credit: iStock Before I had my first child, I couldn’t understand why a baby’s sleep was so important.

It’s not like they had to get up for work in the morning, were going to miss a flight or had an important meeting with a mortgage broker. Who cares if they sleep or not? When my son George was born, I was blasé about routines. He was like a uni student for the first six weeks, only waking to eat and stare at ceiling fans.

Just a little pink blob in a knitted hat. I made confused expressions as the other mums complained about “the nights” while my little gnome snoozed in his car capsule beside me. A friend once made me poke him awake, to prove he wasn’t one of those “reborn” fake baby dolls.

He opened one eye as if to say, “Leave me alone. I’m not ready to be out yet, Mummy!” Then, it happened. One fateful day, he woke up and didn’t ever want to sleep again.

I paced the house at night holding my wailing boy with no idea what to do. “You look tired, Vicky. Just give him some cough mixture.

” My mum was on the phone giving me a high dose of bad advice. “But he doesn’t have a cough.” “It doesn’t matter.

It’ll knock him out. You should take some, too. I would.

You’ll both sleep like rocks.” “I’m going to try co-sleeping. It’s what they do in Japan.

”.