3 hours Ago
Easter symbols are funny to me. Rabbits and eggs became associated with the Christian holiday so long ago that it’s hard to tell where and how they began. On the surface, eggs and bunnies don’t seem to have much to do with a holiday celebrating the resurrection of a man from the dead.
(Apparently, the egg symbolizes “the empty tomb” of Christ, which is ...
a metaphorical stretch, if you ask me). What they are is ancient symbols of fertility. One of the reasons Christianity spread so successfully throughout the world, particularly in Europe, is it vacuumed up pagan symbols, saints and rituals and rebranded them as Christian.
You can imagine early-church missionaries talking to the pagans of Europe: “Can we still have our spring fertility festival if we convert?” “You know what, sure, it’s around Easter time, let’s just do it all together.” Even the name “Easter” comes from the name of an old Germanic goddess of the spring, Eostre/Ostara. Regardless of origin, Easter time is a time of new life and rebirth.
I’m feeling celebratory. Despite being over 30, somehow my ovaries have not shriveled into raisins and Eostre has declared me fertile. As of today, I am 12 weeks pregnant with my own little Easter egg.
I am due at the end of October. According to the growth charts, the Maine Millennial Jr. is currently the size of a small lime.
By all accounts, both the baby and I are healthy. My solo kidney is doing a good job so far. My wife and I are super excited.
I’m even starting to “show,” although according to the literature I’ve been given, it’s not the baby showing as much as it is my inner organs being pushed up out of my pelvis into my abdomen. So that’s ..
. cool. The past three months have been really tough for me.
Tougher than I was expecting. I didn’t think pregnancy was going to be easy or anything, but I guess didn’t realize it would be this rough this early. It’s not just the near-constant nausea or the fatigue or my body losing its ability to regulate temperature (I guess the presence of a fetus just sends the whole system absolutely haywire?) or the soreness in my chest making it impossible to turn over in bed without feeling like I got kangaroo-kicked.
It’s all of it. I don’t feel like myself. I mean, the food stuff alone is weird; I’ve never been averse to food in my life.
I love eating! All the time! And now most days it’s a vaguely off-putting chore (not that it’s stopped me from gaining 7 pounds so far). I haven’t been able to eat a large piece of meat since February. I don’t know if this means the baby is going to be a vegetarian, but the only way I can handle meat right now is if it’s in tiny little pieces, hidden in something else.
The sensory issues that are a symptom of my autism are popping up more frequently and intensely. I’ve started having night sweats so bad that if it keeps up at this rate, I’m not going to be able to tell when my water has broken. The only pregnancy symptom I seem to have escaped is increased urination; that’s probably only because, due to having only one kidney, I already make more bathroom trips than the average bear.
My memory and focus have been shot. I don’t know if it’s “pregnancy brain” or just being allowed one cup of coffee a day, down from my previous norm of a pot to a pot and a half. Ironic that at a time when you’re most in need of energy, you can’t have caffeine.
And the crazy thing is the recommendation to reduce caffeine intake isn’t really based on actual studies. We don’t know for sure the likelihood of negative effects on the fetus, because nobody really wants to study pregnancy, so the doctors just go with the cautious recommendation of “better safe than sorry” and tell women to cut the coffee. I also had to discontinue or switch all three of the medications I’ve taken for years, one of which has studies behind it showing why we should reduce its use in pregnancy, but the other two were mostly because of “better safe than sorry.
” And of course I want to be safe instead of sorry, and motherhood involves a lot to suffering anyway, so I’m following all the doctor’s recommendations, but it’s amazing how little we know about pregnancy in 2025. Like, we can put a man on the moon no problem, but we don’t know if two cups of coffee is too many? None of this makes any sense. If we were back in caveman times, I would be a sitting duck for a saber-toothed tiger.
Pregnancy should be making me faster and stronger, if it made any sense. But it doesn’t. As my mom has wisely pointed out, evolution is all about “good enough.
” I feel bad complaining, because despite all the symptoms, I’m lucky to be healthy. (This may be the only time in my life I could be constantly nauseous and still pronounced perfectly healthy). And this is a very wanted pregnancy; I know I’ve been blessed and that there are a lot of people struggling with infertility who would do anything to be in my position, sweats and all.
And I don’t want to sound like a bad mother before I even have an infant. We are excited! When I saw the first ultrasound and saw the baby in there looking like a gummy bear that was 50% head, I almost cried. I’m excited to meet this little person.
I’m excited to watch my wife be a mom; she’s a lot more qualified than I am. Anyway, continuing with the Easter theme and musings, it does feel like I’ve been in a bit of a cave for the past three months (as opposed to Jesus, who was only there for three days). I’m hoping now that I’m coming out of the first trimester, I will get to come out of the cave and feel more lifelike, more like myself again.
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