‘The day my mother forgot who I was’ – how Alzheimer’s changed my my mum and me

People asked me afterwards, a little incredulously: “Was it really so sudden?” Yes. One day, late in 2019, between lunch and tea, my mother forgot me. I sat across a table from her at one meal and she was entirely confident who I was. That evening: “Tell me”, she asked, “When did we first meet?”

September 21 is World Alzheimer’s Day. Here, author Anthea Rowan explains how she coped with her mother Lala’s memory loss and how it changed their relationship Anthea Rowan with her mother Lala Stephen before she got sick People asked me afterwards, a little incredulously: “Was it really so sudden?” Yes. One day, late in 2019, between lunch and tea, my mother forgot me.

I sat across a table from her at one meal and she was entirely confident who I was. That evening: “Tell me”, she asked, “When did we first meet?” I thought she was joking. It was clear from her response that she wasn’t.

She flatly refused to accept I was her daughter. She insisted she was not old enough to have a daughter my age; she was 78, I was 53. Even when I provided evidence of our relationship — photos of her with me and her parents — she still didn’t believe me.

I overheard her checking with others: “Did you know Anthea was my daughter? I wish somebody had told me.” Join the Irish Independent WhatsApp channel Stay up to date with all the latest news.