2 days Ago By Robin Hadley
OPINION As someone who had always dreamed of being a dad , there’s a unique grief that comes with unintentional childlessness. As a childless man of 64 who has always wanted children, here’s the truth: it’s an isolating and at times crushing experience. There’s a unique grief that comes with unintentional childlessness , but men like me are assumed to be happy, and constantly told that we’re “free”.
You wouldn’t tell a woman the same. People look at you like you’re strange when you reveal you’ve always dreamed of being a dad. Before you assume I’m some sort of desperate loner, you should know that I’ve had my opportunities to be a father.
I got married in my early 20s, to a woman who wanted children , but things didn’t work out between us and I became a divorcee before I turned 30. I then got into a relationship with another woman who wanted children with me, but we weren’t meant to be. It was only in my late 30s that I met my wife, Maryan, who I’ve been happily married to for the last 20 years.
My own dad was middle-of-the-road, not good but not especially bad, either. By the time my 20s were over, I really wanted to give the sort of close parental bond I’d always longed for to a child. My 30s became an intensely broody time – I was constantly thinking about how badly I wanted a family, and my envy for my friends with children grew and grew.
.
