Sleep deprivation nearly broke me after my first baby – this what I wish I had known

The days, weeks and months after I gave birth to my first child, Alfie, are still a blur. The memories I have still feel quite painful, almost eight years after he was born. I always knew I wanted to be a mum: I don’t think there was ever a time in my life where I thought I would be anything but.

Having helped my dad raise my two younger siblings, I was in some ways prepared for what raising little ones entails and a few friends from school had kids before me, so I had a vague idea of the rollercoaster that is parenting.But what I wasn’t prepared for was the sheer exhaustion that runs through every single inch of your body. From your brain through to the ends of your fingertips, and down to the soles of your feet.



Exhaustion of a kind that I had never experienced in my whole life. I thought I knew tiredness – in my twenties, I practically raved every night and held down a full-time job. But this? It felt like torture.

I had a child that refused to take expressed milk, and had silent reflux, so as the sun would start setting, dread would kick in. I knew what night-time would bring: snatched half-hour naps when I could, interspersed with watching Netflix to keep me awake, while I fed sat up in a chair, panicked that if I fed him laying down in bed and fell asleep, I might smother him.if(window.

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It just went round, and round, and round, with no end in sight. Under a cloud of exhaustion, I’d go for walks with him in the buggy – hoping the fresh air might help him sleep, and if it didn’t, might at least keep me sane. I sought out other new parents I could walk and talk with, just so I didn’t feel alone in my tiredness.

It helped to know that my exhaustion didn’t mean I was doing something wrong. Talking with them made me realise that it was just a normal part of early parenting that no one really talks to you honestly about.And in the throes of that exhaustion, I’d walk past the full-length mirror in our hallway every morning as I dragged my slow, tired self to the shower and see my post-partum body.

I’d seen others whose bodies had seemingly “snapped back” without much bother. In the depths of exhaustion, I concluded I was a failure for not pushing my body further by battering it with exercise.I joined a few local classes and felt like I was the only parent whose child would cry on the mat throughout the aerobics class, the sound of his cries like a dagger through my heart, hitting my senses with such a force that I’d just scoop him up, feed him in the car, then head back home.

The feeling of failure would hit me again, because why did everyone else seem to have this whole parenting and exercise thing sorted when I found it so hard? Writing this right now, I’m actually starting to cry a bit, thinking back to that time. if(window.adverts) { window.

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adverts.addToArray({"pos": "mpu_tablet_l1"}); }The memories are still quite raw all these years later. I set this scene because I’d like you to keep in mind my first few months of being a new mum when you read the interesting advice given this week by a group of Canadian experts, which was published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine.

The advice covers the first three months after the baby is born and says that new mums should do two hours of exercise a week, avoid screens before bed and do pelvic-floor muscle training daily to improve their physical and mental health.Sleep. What we need is sleep.

Delivering a baby, whether your birth was traumatic or a bed of roses, is earth-shatteringly exhausting. Especially the first-time round when you have no idea what you’re doing, are panicked about doing it wrong and are getting the least sleep that you’ve ever had in your entire life.So I’d like to do the experts a favour and amend their advice.

New mums, I know it’s tough, but I promise it does get easier, so simply get sleep whenever you can, get fresh air and be kind to yourself. You’re doing the best you can..