Relationship breakups are hard. New book from NZ author has advice to help

Can you break up without breaking down? Tyson Beckett meets a Wellington author with practical tips for getting through, no matter what side of the decision you’re on. No matter your age, life stage or general level of robustness – the early days of a breakup can knock you off your axis. Even when you recognise that the end of a connection is for the best, or came at the right time, the end of something you were once excited and hopeful about can illicit an uneasy level of self-reflection that presents anywhere from a dull ache to a searing pain.

Outside perspective can be invaluable, and friends and family are often there to be a sounding board or supportive brace – but it can sometimes be easier to ask for and accept the guidance of people who don’t know you as well. People who you don’t suspect are saying whatever it is they think you want to hear in the moment. Enter Wellington-based journalist and mother of three Sarah Catherall who has literally written the book on breakups.



Her recently released manual How To Break Up Well: Surviving and Thriving After Separation details lessons learnt the hard way following the dissolution of her own marriage in 2009, but this isn’t a case of life giving you lemons and someone telling you how they’re actually an award-winning lemonade maker. Catherall’s advice is broad-reaching and widely applicable to breakups of all types. Alongside her narrative there are well-researched tips and advice gleaned from divorce coaches, family court lawyers, relationship experts and psychotherapists.

Below, she shares big-sister-style tips on how to practically and philosophically navigate your own breakup, from day one..