Pursuing happiness makes us unhappy

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We’re fortunate to live in a time where emotional health and psychological well-being are taken seriously. But, with all the theoretical support and professional guidance, studies show a downward trend in the happiness we experience as a collective. However, social media influence says otherwise.

We’re at the peak of consumerism, especially regarding self-help. Today, nearly one in three young adults aged 18 to 24 report symptoms of common mental health challenges like anxiety and depression. This marks a significant increase from 2000 when about one in four in this age group faced similar issues.



In today’s world, appearances hold significant power, often shaping public perception. This relentless pressure to maintain a positive front, even when our true emotions don’t align, is known toxic positivity. Social media and self-help culture have magnified this trend.

Striving for perpetual happiness while pushing away uncomfortable emotions might seem like a good idea, but it can backfire. Think of it like a pressure cooker with no outlet— the heat creates a formidable internal force, enough to make the vessel explode. In the same way, when we suppress our genuine emotions, they don’t just disappear.

Instead, they build up, eventually surfacing as anxiety, sadness, or a sense of unease. Research shows that emotional suppression not only intensifies negative feelings over time but also leaves us feeling trapped and stuck in cycles of unhappiness. Did you know that the average person experiences around 400 different emotions daily? Human emotions are complex and play essential roles in our survival and social connections.

From joy and love to anger, sadness, and disgust, each emotion carries important signals about our environment and our experiences. These signals guide us through social interactions and influence crucial decisions impacting our safety and well-being. Embracing the full range of emotions isn’t just natural—it’s essential for developing emotional intelligence, building character, and fostering personal growth.

By acknowledging and working through negative emotions, we gain the resilience needed to manage stress and adversity, ultimately increasing our psychological flexibility and deepening our self-awareness. To nurture emotional balance, it is essential to approach your feelings with both courage and curiosity. Emotions are merely messengers, signalling what’s happening within us.

Below are some tips that will help you to begin with: Understand and accept your feelings without self-judgment. Whether you’re feeling elated or overwhelmed, recognising that your emotions are valid is the first step toward building emotional resilience. Find healthy ways to express your emotions.

This could be through conversations with a trusted friend, journaling, or creative outlets like painting or playing music. Expression is key to processing emotions and prevents them from building up inside. Include mindfulness techniques in your routine, for instance, deep breathing exercises or meditation.

These practices help you stay present with your feelings, reducing the impact of negative emotions. How can we move beyond the trap of toxic positivity? It begins with recognising our vulnerability and allowing space for all of our emotions. Life brings joy and beautiful moments worth celebrating, but it also involves rejection, loss, and failure.

Embracing this full emotional spectrum fosters maturity, empathy, and resilience. Coutinho is an integrative lifestyle expert.