Parenting advice: How do I convince my teen with anxiety she needs to go to school?

A parent doesn’t know what else to try to convince their child to attend their high school regularly. Q. I am the mother of two teenage daughters , and their personalities couldn’t be further apart.

The youngest is at a private school, is active in cheerleading and gymnastics and has a busy social life. The eldest is at the public alternative high school, and she was accepted to a competitive art programme offered by the district, so she splits her class time. Her personality leans toward the moody, artsy type, and last year I worked to get her an antianxiety prescription, which she takes inconsistently.



Her doctor recommended counselling , but that didn’t seem to take either. The problem right now is that I am struggling to get her to attend school every day. Covid turned the world upside down, and now I can’t get her back on track.

She stays up all night so of course is too tired to get up in the morning, or she’ll say she’s feeling too anxious to go , or she’ll despair that she can’t get her hair or makeup right so she can’t leave the house. I end up having to message the school so she doesn’t get an unexcused absence and she is permitted to do her schoolwork at home. I know I’m inclined to avoid conflict, and I know I should have set stronger boundaries when my girls were younger.

But I’ve tried cajoling, I’ve tried appealing to reason, and I’ve tried encouraging her to go so she can build a portfolio for college. I’ve tried pointing out that adulting means going to school or work even when you don’t feel like it. I’ve even tried to be tough (which was hard for me!), and I’ve talked to her art teacher, who agrees this is a problem.

I don’t know what else to do. Can you suggest any new approaches?.