1 week Ago By [email protected] (Chuck Brown)
I was on a call today about a writing assignment. The client was going to take the draft I presented and “socialize” it with the team. He must have needed to ensure they were “aligned.
” I’m glad I don’t speak up every time someone says something that makes my head cock to the side like a dog when you say, “Who’s a good dog?” It made me think it’s time to circle back on some words that you, the readers, have reached out to tell me you despise. A deep dive into your submissions is low-hanging fruit. You’re writing this column for me.
That’s a game changer and a win-win since you get to air your grievances in public and, at the end of the day, I get to put my feet up early. No need for me to boil the ocean here. I’ll start with a phrase that’s really gaining popularity.
“In real time.” I’ve heard this in the context of news and sports, such as during coverage of the recent NHL trade deadline. With lots of activity for team management, they had to deal with issues and make decisions quickly.
Or, if you’re a broadcaster trying to sound smart, they’re making these decisions, “in real time.” As opposed to..
. what? Are we normally able to pause time, rewind or fast forward and manage the world on our own schedules? Instead of doing things “in real time” could we just do them quickly..
. or instantly..
. or without delay..
. or immediately. Longtime reader Beverly gets upset, probably in real time, when she hears the phrase, “Make no mistake.
” “I feel like yelling, ‘I am NOT making a mistake, other than listening to your nonsense.’ Just STOP IT!” she writes. It does seem pompous to declare, “make no mistake.
” “Make no mistake. I’m eating this banana.” Beverly’s peeve reminds me of people who add, “We all agree” or “We’re all smart people” to make the listener feel bullied into agreeing before they even get a chance to speak.
Hey, don’t wrap me into the dumb thing you’re about to say. Some people also like to end a point with, “Does that make sense?” forcing me to nod my head and agree with them. Why did you say it if you don’t think it makes sense? The question, “does that make sense?” makes me feel as though, yes, of course it makes sense.
Are you trying to make me feel stupid because you said it and I did not? That water is wet. We should use a towel to dry off after we touch it. Does that make sense? Yes, it does.
You are so smart. Reader Pat takes exception when people change the pronunciation of words just because. It’s important to Pat that people say “important” not “impordant.
” Even writers are guilty. Pat says, “I heard an interview with a writer who kept talking about the things they had “ridden.” Pat’s right.
The only acceptable times to change a t to a d in the middle of a word is if you’re Stompin’ Tom singing about a potato (pronounced...
bu-day-duh, I think) or if your tongue is currently stuck to a frozen metal pole. I’m even more old school. I’m a longtime crusader against those who believe the way to relieve an itch is to itch it.
I’ve had full-out arguments about this. You mean “scratch.” No, “itch.
” I don’t think these people know what an itch is. I also remember as a kid getting annoyed when my friends would call a Fudgsicle a fudgicle. There’s an S in it! It’s right there on the wrapper! And my spell checker is on fire right now! FUDG SICLE! Does that make sense?.
