2 weeks Ago
I recently accompanied a young parent to a suspension appeal meeting for her young child. I couldn’t shake the emotions felt during the meeting and didn't know why. Then it hit me.
The meeting triggered the memory of an event that took place 32 years ago when I , a young single mother, walked into a suspension appeal for my 10-year-old son, James. I remember being terrified and thinking I couldn’t defend my own child. People are also reading.
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1, Texas slips to third Cross Canadian Ragweed, Turnpike Troubadours sell out four Boone Pickens Stadium shows Requirements adjusted for bids to supply Bibles to Oklahoma classrooms That same reaction came flooding back as I accompanied the young mother, who took off work without pay for the meeting. For context, her child needs an IEP (Individualized Education Program) but has yet to have one after months of waiting. We thought this meeting about the suspension appeal would only be with the principal.
Upon arrival, it was a team of people . Imagine walking into a room and having 12 pairs of eyes staring at you. Then, imag in e being given a list of names representing those sitting in the room and being told you get to pick two as your representative s /advocate .
Like this single mother, you may look at the list and say, "I don’t know any of these people except one." Still, you have to pick one from that list in that moment. This young mother will likely chose the one person she knew — the first name on the list — and silently hoped it was the right choice.
At that point, the process is explained as the appointed chairperson starts to read the carefully crafted script while the secretary takes notes . T he courage that young mother had walk ing into the building slowly starts to dwindle . Typically, in the end, this mother's child would still be out of school and still without an IEP that was requested five months earlier.
Sadly, e ven if the IE P were in place, there is no certainty her child would get the needed services b ecause there are not enough special e ducation resources or teachers to serve all the Tulsa (and Oklahoma) students who require it. Now, consider this young mother's psychological aftermath. Her wagon already full of insecurities and doubts gets heavier, knowing this will not end well because , based on the guidelines e xplained, there is no chance of winning this appeal.
She thinks: "My kid, just like me, will never win ." For the young parent I was accompanying, there is good news. This woman had the foresight to invite me and an advocate from the ARC, a nonprofit working with people with intellectual and development disabilities.
Neither of us knew the other, but we understood the assignment . We didn't win everything we wanted for the child, but we didn't walk away having lost or feeling disheartened. I was proud of what we got accomplished and felt the handpicked site suspension review committee did an excellent job.
I felt confident in their knowledge and underst ood the schools' limitations . Young parents need guidance on how to get what they need for their children. It’s not that young parents aren't ready and willing to advocate for their children.
The problem is they are coming to the advocate table playing checkers while everyone at the table is playing chess. I f we equip young parents with an understanding of process and procedure, their amplified voices will assist in creating better e xperiences, processes and outcomes . In that suspension appeal meeting, we learned from each other and are all working together for the good of this young child .
I call that a draw ..
