2 weeks Ago
We all do it. Sara J. Margolin is an associate professor in the department of psychology at SUNY Brockport.
We have internal biases. We have beliefs about things and make assumptions. We make sweeping generalizations.
And the reason we do it is because it’s less work mentally. Makes sense, yes? I mean, it’s easier to assume that all tofu tastes bad than it is to think about the ways we can prepare this spongy protein that might taste better than eating it straight out of the package. Less effort.
Less mental load. The problem comes when we make these judgments about people and don’t make any effort to learn, change, or identify where we are wrong. The damage isn’t only done to others, it can also be done to ourselves in the way we make assumptions about our own aging processes.
And the information that supports our assumptions and confirms our biases is everywhere. We find it in the game aisle at Target, where I saw one called Grumpy Grandpa; on the shelf at Barnes & Noble in books like “To Hell with Aging,”; or even in our favorite podcast interview (see Dr. Mark Hyman’s claim that “scientists are now saying aging is a disease.
” Spoiler alert: we aren’t.) This perpetuates the belief, strengthens our assumptions, and puts us in a position to continue the messaging. Most of the time, we see the same message: aging means you are going to fall apart, be unable to do anything independently, become lonely and depressed, and lose all mental faculties.
Even in our political conversations now it is almost as if aging and dementia have become interchangeable. However, this is not how aging works. This is ageism.
Plain and simple. And we keep perpetuating the beliefs and the discrimination, rather than seeking more information and putting in the effort to learn more and do better — and, yes, we can learn new things even as an older adult. The “I’m from a different time” excuse isn’t valid anymore.
By not putting in the effort to undo these assumptions and see all the individually different experiences we have throughout our life, we become our own self-fulfilling prophecy. Researchers, such as Dr. Becca Levy, have demonstrated that the way we think about our own aging process will affect that aging process.
Think positively? Get a positive experience. Think negatively? Get a negative one. Thinking positively isn’t delusional thinking.
It is quite accurate in terms of how we age. There is little evidence showing consistency in any of the assumptions about we make about age. It is not the norm for an older adult to need to live in a nursing home, and mental health conditions like depression are no more common in older adults than in younger adults.
Do these happen? Of course. But these experiences are far from universal. Aging comes with change, but not necessarily negative change.
We see some slowing, but that comes with more deliberate thought. We see some poorer eyesight, but glasses exist. In fact, some may say we get better with age — I say we become more of who we are.
We develop, just in the same way we develop throughout childhood and adolescence, we develop through adulthood. So, rather than assuming the worst about our older years, let’s learn the truth. Catch the latest in Opinion Get opinion pieces, letters and editorials sent directly to your inbox weekly!.
