2 weeks Ago By Katrina Turrill
A WIDOW is urging others to get their symptoms "checked out as soon as possible" after her doctor husband delayed seeking medical advice and died just three weeks after a cancer diagnosis. Thelma Ainsworth, 50, a lawyer, author and former RAF legal officer from London, said her husband Jonathan was a “fit and healthy” doctor and runner who was “always slim and always training”. 6 Thelma Ainsworth met her husband, Jonathan, after graduating from the University of Cambridge Credit: PA 6 In 2019, once Thelma had finished a decade working with the RAF, Jonathan started complaining of stomach pain Credit: PA 6 As a doctor, Jonathan eventually did his own bloods – and this led to his “shocking” bile duct cancer diagnosis Credit: PA He started complaining of stomach pain in 2019 but, despite his medical career, he didn't seek advice straightaway.
In October that year, he was diagnosed with bile duct cancer and died just three weeks later, aged 59. “Jonathan, even though he was a doctor, he didn’t get checked immediately, he waited until it was too late,” Thelma said. After graduating from the University of Cambridge, working as a lawyer and joining the RAF , Thelma met her husband, Jonathan, an “intelligent and talented” doctor, through a lonely hearts advertisement in The Guardian newspaper.
Read more on cancer SIMPLE TEST New at-home phone app could spot deadly cancer as cases reach all-time high BEAT BIG C Housework cuts cancer risk, study finds - & reveals number of daily steps to do The couple married in March 2011 before having their two children, Dominic, now 12, and Richard, eight. In 2019, once Thelma had finished a decade working with the RAF, HIV and infectious diseases specialist Jonathan started complaining of stomach pain – but didn't seek further medical advice for several months. As he lost weight and the pain persisted, however, he spoke to another doctor, who referred him for a scan as his liver appeared inflamed.
While waiting for the referral, Thelma said Jonathan decided to do his own bloods – and this led to his “shocking” bile duct cancer diagnosis in October that year. Most read in Health GOOD OLDER DAYS Superior sex and six other perks that prove getting older isn't all bad VIRAL THREAT 'Breakbone fever' cases soar in UK as Brits told to take holiday precautions JAB ERROR Woman, 30, develops ‘world’s deadliest infection’ after being given wrong jab SIMPLE TEST New at-home phone app could spot deadly cancer as cases reach all-time high “He was a doctor, so he decided to do his own bloods, and then one day he came back home and said it wasn’t right,” Thelma explained. “So, he went off to St Mary’s Hospital and they said that he had cancer – and then, three weeks later, he was gone.
The signs and symptoms of cancer “It turned out to be bile duct cancer, which is very rare, and it had spread everywhere.” The NHS says bile duct cancer may not have any symptoms, or they can be hard to spot, and this was the case for Jonathan. According to Liver Cancer UK, about 2,200 people in England are diagnosed with bile duct cancer every year.
Thelma said her husband’s symptoms “presented very late” and they never suspected it could be cancer. “It was more advanced than we could possibly imagine..
.we were always five steps behind what was going on,” Thelma said. “Go get yourself checked out.
” Managing grief When Jonathan died on October 25 2019, aged 59, Thelma had already been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) following a “difficult birth” with her second son, Richard. She said she was “on the cusp” of resuming her legal career and admitted that her relationship with Jonathan was strained before he died, with the pair having marriage counselling. Trying to balance her grief, children, career, familial relationships and mental health struggles, Thelma said she utilised her RAF skills and “bunker mentality” to help her “plough on”.
“I had hurdle after hurdle after hurdle,” she said. “I just carried on like that Duracell Bunny in that advert – you just carry on until, at the end, it becomes too much.” Thelma started a new job at a law firm just three months after Jonathan’s death and found comfort reading books about grief and watching programmes like After Life, starring Ricky Gervais.
Since the diagnosis and for many months, maybe years afterwards, I blamed myself, that it was somehow my fault because of our marriage difficulties, because I didn’t get him to check himself out Thelma Ainsworth However, she found that she started blaming herself, believing it was her fault for Jonathan’s death. “Since the diagnosis and for many months, maybe years afterwards, I blamed myself, that it was somehow my fault because of our marriage difficulties, because I didn’t get him to check himself out,” Thelma said. In 2022, it “all came to a head” while trying to write a children’s book – something she had wanted to do for years.
She discovered that her grief acted as a “blockage” to her creative writing and therefore decided to start journaling. And these “raw” notes became the inspiration for her first memoir, I Am A Wolf Tonight - the first book in her Surviving Badly series “I realised that it was all playing out like a drama and it would actually do well to write it as a proper memoir, so I started to write it in that vein,” she explained. 6 After Jonathan's death, Thelma became a widow and their two children, Dominic, now 12, and Richard, eight, were left without a dad Credit: PA 6 Jonathan's bile duct cancer was found to have spread everywhere in his body Credit: PA 6 Thelma channelled her grief into writing a book, which explores themes of cancer loss, complex grief, love, resilience and perseverance Credit: PA “It was this blockage inside me that I felt I needed to release.
” The book, which Thelma describes as “raw, unflinching and honest”, explores themes of cancer loss, complex grief, love, resilience and perseverance. Thelma said there is “no right or wrong way to do grief”, but she hopes her words will offer hope and encourage others to be patient and kind to themselves. She explained: “(The book) is about perseverance – how much can you take? How do we carry on when we’re dealing with our own internal trauma and external trauma? How do we keep all the balls in the air? “I developed this harsh persona where I was just driving through life – and that’s where the title, I Am A Wolf Tonight, comes from.
“I had to tap into my inner wolf in order to deal with all these challenges.” She added: “At some point you will reach a stage where you’re able to process that grief, but it will take years, and I’m not unusual in that. “I hope that my book is helpful for anyone who’s been in that circumstance where they’ve had to go out of their way to reveal their inner animal in order to survive.
” Read more on the Scottish Sun FARE PLAY List of who qualifies for free bus pass in Scotland after DWP rule changes GERS TRAGEDY Ex-Rangers goalie Stewart Kennedy in mourning after wife dies on hols flight Speaking about her advice on cancer, she said: “As in Jonathan’s case, once you know that there’s something wrong, get yourself checked out as soon as possible.” To find out more about Thelma’s book, visit: mybook.to/IAmAWolfTonight .
Main symptoms of bile duct cancer BILE duct cancer is a cancer that's found anywhere in the bile ducts - small tubes that connect different organs, including the liver and gall bladder. They form part of the digestive system. Symptoms don't always appear or can be hard to spot, but can include: the whites of your eyes turning yellow or your skin turning yellow, which may be less obvious on brown or black skin (jaundice) itchy skin darker pee and paler poo than usual loss of appetite or losing weight without trying to feeling generally unwell feeling tired or having no energy a high temperature, or you feel hot or shivery Other symptoms can affect your tummy, such as: feeling or being sick pain in your tummy If you experience any of these symptoms, see your GP.
Source: NHS.
