2 hours Ago By [email protected] (Alan Beresford)
A promise made by a mother to her dead son has helped raise over £100,000 for those battling mental health problems. August 23 last year saw Pauline and Allen Thain face every parents’ worst nightmare - their son, Jody, took his own life out of the blue. He was just 31.
The tragedy was to spur her on to making Jody a promise that saw her founding the charity Feeling Blue to help others suffering the agonies of mental health issues and hopefully turn them away from choosing to end their own lives. Feeling Blue was formed in February this year, attaining charitable status in June. The charity have been providing practical help in the form of one-to-one counselling, a service which has become immeasurably more valuable due to the scarcity of such treatment on the NHS.
Although only a few months old, Feeling Blue has attracted the stunning total of over £100,000 in donations. Looking back on the day that was to change her life forever, Pauline said: “Losing Jody came out of the blue, he didn’t seem to have any problems. “He was the life and soul of the party, he had a good job, a house and a car - we’ve no idea why he took his own life.
“Jody had a glittering career ahead of him. He was a marine engineer and originally started off on the cruise liners before getting an offshore job in China. Due to Covid he ended up spending 11 months there because of the regulations in force at the time.
Jody left that company and got a new job offshore in Africa - after he died we got a letter from them saying he had a very bright future, that he was chief engineer material. “Jody would’ve helped anyone if they needed it and was the last to ask for help himself. He was a real gentleman.
“The day before the funeral I made Jody a promise that I’d make it my life’s work do something so others wouldn’t have to suffer with mental health issues. “Jody was a huge Rangers fan which helped inspire the name of the charity Feeling Blue.” Allen added: “We wanted to do something in memory of Jody so that other families don’t have to go through the grief and hurt that we’ve had to.
“I think we’re doing what Jody himself would’ve wanted us to do, to help other people. “If we can save just one person, it’ll be worth it. There don’t seem to be many other ways for people to get the help they need.
” The cruel grief that followed Jody’s shock passing saw the family turn to counselling, an experience which was to usher them down the route that was to lead ultimately to Feeling Blue. It was also to lay bare the sheer scarcity of NHS provision in this regard. Pauline continued: “We needed counselling after we lost Jody but we got a shock.
“My sister-in-law said she’d been told by her GP there was at least a six month waiting list to get counselling on the NHS. “Once you get counselling you only get six sessions and if you need more you go to the back of the queue again. “It became clear to us that we’d have to pay for it, which wasn’t a problem, but that’s not the case for so many people who need help.
“This has really lifted the lid on a wider problem. You tend not to think of suicide or mental health problems unless it directly affects you or your family - we certainly didn’t. We were surprised nothing like Feeling Blue was being done, it was only once Jody took his own life that we realised.
“During counselling the counsellor mentioned a family in Troon who were in a similar situation to us and had set up a charity to pay for people in need to have sessions. Initially we worked with The World Suicide Prevention Project in Fraserburgh but then we got in touch with the Troon family.” A voyage into the unknown awaited the Thain family as, with dignity and determination, they forged Feeling Blue.
Pauline said: “We never thought back in February we’d be sitting here today having raised over £100,000. “Originally we thought we’d maybe raise £20,000 and do some good but it’s been amazing how much people have wanted want to help. It started with the large collection at Jody’s funeral - we raised £4800 - and since then there’s all sorts of people and groups helping out.
There’s scarcely a business in Buckie that hasn’t helped; David Robertson at Pozzi’s, for example, has donated the shop’s carrier bag charges to Feeling Blue. “We’ve had just about everybody from oil companies to ladies’ church groups coming on board. Our family have also been wonderful.
“The response has been phenomenal. It’s a community thing, everyone’s joining in.” Feeling Blue has gone on to provide a link to counselling which, quite literally, could be a life-saver for people at their lowest ebb.
Pauline continued: “People come to us through the Feeling Blue Facebook page, text or email; they could be people who’re struggling with their mental health, who are feeling suicidal or who’ve been bereaved by suicide. “We don’t ask them what’s wrong, all we need is their name, age and the area they live in and then we pass that on to a counsellor. The only thing people need to tell us is ‘I need help’.
Everything is completely confidential. “We can put people in touch with one of five fully-trained and accredited counsellors who give confidential, one-to-one sessions. Feeling Blue pays for the sessions - we don’t provide counselling ourselves - and to date we’ve helped 26 people.
“We started with the idea that it would be purely local but we’ll never turn anyone away; anyone will get help if they need it. “Feeling Blue typically pays for around 20 sessions although that’s just a rule of thumb - one size does not fit all. We’ve helped people aged 13 through to those in their 60s, it’s folk from all walks of life.
” However, this all comes at a price with Pauline estimating each client’s treatment will cost in the order of £1000. Fundraising is therefore an ongoing priority, with Feeling Blue enjoying couple of recent boosts to their coffers. Recently, a Big Feed fundraiser held in Buckie Baptist Church added a further £4500 to the pot.
Feeling Blue have a tombola planned for November 7 at the Fishermen’s Hall, Buckie, with doors opening at 6.30pm for eyes down at 7pm. Entry is £3.
The charity will also have a stall at the Buckie Christmas Kracker on Saturday, November 16. To help maximise cash raised on the day, members of Jody’s family have paid for all the merchandise set to feature at the gazebo. They will also be distributing leaflets around a variety of community spaces outlining what the charity does and urging those in need to get help.
For more information about tombola and Feeling Blue in general, or to contact them about accessing their services, visit the charity’s Facebook page, email [email protected] or text 07907 134480..
