Millennials are realising children are just not worth it – emotionally or financially

The birthrate in England and Wales is at an all-time low. To keep populations steady, each woman needs to give birth to two children. The current UK rate is 1.

44. Some experts say this is a crisis that will have a detrimental impact on our society, with fewer people to contribute to the economy. Others believe a decreased population will benefit the planet by slowing down climate change.



Still others argue that migration will fill the gap. From the rising cost of living to shifting attitudes towards family and parenthood, why are we having fewer babies? Millennial Zing Tsjeng, fertility expert Professor Geeta Nargund, economist Hamish McRae and mother of one Rhiannon Picton-James share their perspectives. if(window.

adverts) { window.adverts.addToArray({"pos": "inread-hb-ros-inews"}); }“The more I see people around me do it, the more I don’t want to do it,” my friend confided, leaning over her oat cappuccino.

She was talking, of course, about children.If you’ve hit your mid-thirties, the chances are that all your conversations, like mine, have taken on a distinctly reproductive bent. Who’s egg freezing? Who’s doing IVF? Who conceived an “oops” baby at a 4am afterparty when they were engaging in some very un-parental, illicit activity? But the question underneath all of this is: kids? In this economy?Once upon a time, the words “birth rate crisis” were the sole preserve of the extreme right.

Now it takes up column inches in newspapers and rests heavy on the minds of politicians across the spectrum.Pronatalism, the controversial pro-birth ideology associated with Tesla CEO Elon Musk (singlehandedly taking on the issue by having 14 children with four women) and US Vice President JD Vance (trailing well behind with only three), is on the ascendant in both Maga circles and Silicon Valley.if(window.

adverts) { window.adverts.addToArray({"pos": "mpu_mobile_l1"}); }if(window.

adverts) { window.adverts.addToArray({"pos": "mpu_tablet_l1"}); }The right has always been better at talking about babies.

It’s true that pronatalism is often couched in deeply reactionary, anti-immigration rhetoric – just look at Hungarian prime minister Viktor Orban, who created tax exemptions for women with more than four children, railing against “the great European population replacement programme, which seeks to replace the missing European Christian children with migrants”.But the left is also slowly beginning to take it on, with Novara Media co-founder Aaron Bastani describing the birth rate as a “genuine concern for millions of people who vote for left-wing parties”. Clearly, nobody on either side of the political divide wants to grow old in a country where an outsized population of the elderly have to rely on an ever-shrinking sliver of young people.

So why aren’t people having kids? Well, there’s a strong financial incentive to stay child-free. Recent research from The Times has shown that a British household needs to earn at least £88,000 to afford two children these days – far above the median income of £37,430. According to the Child Poverty Action Group, it would cost a couple £259,028 to raise a single child to 18 – once you adjust for inflation, that’s a 25 per cent increase over a decade.

You could easily buy a house with that money.If both partners are working, it can also be hard to let go of the hard-won financial security and freedom that comes from two breadwinners. DINKs (dual income, no kids) are often framed as entitled, superficial spendthrifts bragging about their glamorously child-free lives.

But having a child isn’t just about no longer being able to splurge on a last-minute trip to Venice – it’s also about needing to reconstitute our already constrained lives. If you’re already stressing over the cost of your weekly grocery shop, it’s highly likely you may just tot up the numbers in your head – the cost of childcare and another mouth to feed, not to mention moving to a bigger place so your child has a bedroom of their own – and tell your partner it simply isn’t worth it.But it’s not just about economics.

Elder millennials’ attitudes to relationships are also changing. According to the Pew Research Centre, an increasing number are opting for singlehood, with record numbers of unmarried 40-year-olds and only 22 per cent of those cohabiting with partners.Clearly, lots has been said about the unmarried millennial.

But I think we need to go further back to understand why my generation is more likely to be both spouse and child-free. if(window.adverts) { window.

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adverts.addToArray({"pos": "mpu_tablet_l2"}); }We are the children of divorce – our Gen X parents were the most likely cohort to split up in the UK, with almost a quarter calling it quits after 10 years of marriage. We saw first hand the acrimonious splits and tussling over assets, the dawning realisation that our parents were maybe – whisper it – not actually that well suited.

Can you blame us for wanting to be a little pickier about who we end up sharing the morning school run with? After all, we’ve seen where a less-than-ideal match ends up. It’s not that the singletons I know don’t want a partner – many of them do. Children are a more complicated issue.

I’ve spoken to people of all genders who are conflicted, citing the looming climate crisis and the uncertainty of raising a child in such divided, troubling times. But acting as if this is all about couples who don’t want kids is putting the cart before the horse.The fundamental problem is even finding a suitable relationship in which to raise a child – one where both partners feel financially well-equipped, emotionally supported and reasonably sure that the childcare duties will be evenly split and any return to work will be negotiated fairly.

That requires a certain level of investment into a relationship and its finances – and it also requires said partner to begin with. Many millennials, upon being ghosted by yet another Hinge date, will ask themselves: “If I can’t even trust them to reply to my texts, can I trust them to raise our baby?”No wonder it can seem preferable to delete the apps, gracefully exit the dating world and focus on the things we can control: our friendships, our careers and our sanity. As for the question of kids? That may end up falling by the wayside, too.

Zing Tsjeng is a journalist, non-fiction author, and podcasterif(window.adverts) { window.adverts.

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addToArray({"pos": "mpu_tablet_l3"}); }Perspectives: One topic, multiple viewsRead nextsquareRhiannon Picton-JamesBritish people are more tolerant of dogs than my childRead nextsquareProfessor Geeta NargundI’m a fertility expert, this is why people aren’t having childrenJust readsquareZing TsjengMillennials are realising children are just not worth it – emotionally or financially.