1 week Ago By Rapheal
I t has long been established that in marital relationships, men who live up to their responsibilities win the gold medal in the family, every time. In nuclear and extended family settings, men bear primary responsibility for providing for the home. When the man takes good care of every member of the family (wife, children, siblings and in-laws), it ensures peace within the home.
Now, I watched a video that went viral on one of the social media platforms, where a man, Charles warned his friend, Peter, who was out to destroy his home. In that video, Charles said: “I have a friend named Peter. We all live in United States.
So, knowing the details and values of the American system, especially in marriages, which is different from Africa, Peter visited and saw me washing dishes and tidying up the house. He screamed out and said, ‘Guy, the chores are not for you but for your wife. Are we not Africans again? How can you be washing dishes in the kitchen?’ I told him my wife just came back from work and deserved to have a little rest.
What is wrong if I clean up the house we live in? Peter did not like my defense and therefore left my home. “A few weeks after, I visited Peter unannounced because we all live in the same city. I saw my friend cooking, doing laundry and cleaning the floor at the same time.
I was surprised and asked him, what are you doing? So, you also do chores in your home? With a strong facial expression, I issued Peter a stern warning, telling him ‘Never you visit my home again because you want to destroy my home while yours stands. You are a bad friend and in fact an enemy. I walked back to my car and drove off immediately.
” Charles is not alone in this situation. There are men who are described as unfriendly friends, who do not want their friends’ progress. It has been happening and still happens till date.
It only takes committed and careful men to know such friends and separate themselves from them. From the grapevine, I heard the story of two friends, Austen and Michael, who lived in Port Harcourt, the Rivers State capital, years ago. They were business partners who hung out together.
Michael got married first and it was all jolly and rosy for all friends. Austen was more careful and settled with a more accomplished lady named Grace. Somehow, his friend Michael became envious and was hell bent on tarnishing the image of Grace.
He tried all sorts including inviting her to have good times with him. It was at this point that Grace told her husband, Austen, about the amorous advances Michael had been making to her. Hell was let loose.
Other friends and business associates got involved and banned Michael from their circle, for being an unworthy friend. If Austen and Grace did not trust each the incident would have caused their beautiful union to collapse. Men need to recognize that it is graceful to be committed in your families because you will enjoy a long-lasting bond.
Sometime ago, on one of the social media platforms, Kora Obidi, the popular Nigerian-American singer and dancer with her sister, a content creator, would often record videos of themselves dancing with their father and then post on all their social media platforms. Why? The ladies always remember the sacrifices their father made for them and his commitment to raising them after they lost their mother more than 20 years ago. Celebrating Pa Anthony Obidi, a man who singlehandedly raised his four young children, three girls and a boy, Nancy said: “20 years ago when our mother went to be with the Lord, our father called the four of us together and promised he would always be there for us, no matter the situation.
He told us never to hide anything from him, but always tell him the whole truth at all times. I remember he bought the first sanitary towels for my sisters and I, to take care of our hygiene during the monthly menstrual cycle. He trained us all through our university education and gave me two British certificates.
He made sure we were all comfortable, emotionally and spiritually. Now, it is our turn to pay him back for his good deeds. That is what my siblings and I will continue to do as we look back to his sacrifices.
Clearly, if Pa Obidi had remarried immediately and paid less attention to his children back then, he would also have reaped the consequence of such negligence. I want men to know that being committed is not only about being a cash cow. There is nothing wrong with a man attending to his children.
In most families on Sundays, the woman is expected to bathe the children, dress them up, prepare the meals and get ready for the Sunday service. The man would bathe, dress up, sit down in the living room and be complaining that his wife and children are the reason he attends church late. Apart from paying bills, what if both the man wake up early and gets the children ready, while the wife prepares the meal and both get to service early? There is nothing wrong if a man prepares meal for the family and launders all dirty clothes.
It will not be out of place for the men to help or supervise the children in doing their homework, take them to piano lessons, football training and getting haircut, etc. These are family bonding moments that money cannot buy. A child would always remember the days and give kudos to his father, even in death.
Men who are responsibly committed to their families would always enjoy everlasting happiness. Committed and confidential men also see that their wives break the ceiling in achievement. They do not get jealous over their rich resources and accomplishments.
When I was growing up, and for most people, Christmas was always a season of celebration, merriment and enjoyment. During one Yuletide season, an uncle returned from the city with his new wife, reunite and celebrate the yuletide with kith and kin. He noticed that his mother had sort of permanently deployed his wife to the kitchen to cook daily.
Carefully, he planned unscheduled meetings just to smartly reduce the stress for a new wife without his mother’s notice. He smartly and carefully played his game and peace reigned. Dear men, know it today that a hood does not make a monk.
There is a time to sow and reap. Being committed in your family is not only about throwing money at your wife and children, no. Be committed in their lives.
Let them know your whereabouts. Stop hiding things from your family. Be truthful and be committed to enjoy your relationship with both nuclear and extended family members.
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