2 weeks Ago By Tarini Sood
“This is the group lipstick now,” a close friend declared as we stood in the dimly lit bathroom of a nightclub. Like the jeans from Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants(2005), except ours was a semi-matte pink liquid lipstick in the shade Committed by The Balm. Our tight-knit group of four all wore the same one and somehow, it not only looked different on each of us (thank you, colour theory) but also complemented each of our skin tones.
In his book, Four Loves, CS Lewis wrote: “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’”This quote often comes to mind when I’m at my friend’s house, as we primp and prep for a night out together. Standing under the revealing lights in the bathroom with every pore under microscopic scrutiny, we realise our insecurities aren’t unique.
Vanity takes a backseat to vulnerability—acne scars aren’t hidden under layers of concealer, sparse brows remain untouched and faint moustaches are left unwaxed. Here, candid conversations about our shared struggles are exchanged with ease, reinforcing the deep bonds between us. “Try a retinol sandwich for your hyperpigmentation,” suggests my friend, a dermatologist, as another hands me her new Le Correcteur De Chanel concealer, promising it can make my complexion look as smooth as porcelain.
Battling the effects of post- shaving strawberry skin on her calves, our fourth ally vigorously exfoliates with a buff puff in the bathroom before we head out. “You don’t need to do all that,” we chime in, each offering our own brand of reassurance. After all, who among us hasn’t faced ingrown hairs or bumpy, uneven skin? Friendship encompasses many things, but when we’re young and impressionable, it serves as a lens through which we make sense of the world.
As a child who favoured Beyblade over Barbie, my entry into the world of beauty was a little late. In the ninth grade, a close school friend introduced me to what remains an essential beauty tool in my vanity to this day: the hair straightener. This was before the era of social media beauty gurus, so I learned by watching her clamp the iron onto damp hair, the telltale sizzle of damage echoing through the room as she pulled her strands through the hot ceramic plates.
It’s a memory we cringe at now, especially as we swap notes on the latest bond-strengthening treatments like K18 whose moisturiser works better or which aesthetician’s advice to follow, only to realise in recent years that our differing needs demand unique fixes. For instance, a warm brown lipstick radiates a sunkissed glow against her olive skin, while the same shade on my fairer complexion turns me into a chalky TV serial villain. While she’s self-conscious about her stretch marks, I fixate on the pits in my cheeks.
Confronted with concerns so distinct from our own, we now appreciate the individuality of our lived experiences. The differences in our skincare routines become gateways to understanding this fundamental truth, allowing us to be more empathetic to each other in general. A UCLA study found that when faced with a stressful situation, women often respond by seeking support from each other—an approach that has historically ensured the survival of women.
Even pop culture will confirm the phenomenon. Think of the scene in Mean Girls (2004) where Lindsay Lohan and the ‘plastics’ have a candid conversation about highschool life while preparing for their winter talent show. Or in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (2011), when Kalki Koechlin’s character voices her apprehensions over her fiancé’s bachelor trip in the powder room with her friends.
These moments reflect how beauty rituals create safe spaces for women to share advice and emotional support as they navigate life’s challenges. Whether it’s a late-night conversation about a collagen-boosting face mask or a collective cringe over past beauty mishaps, these exchanges are woven into the fabric of female friendship, soaking it with layers of shared experience and mutual care. Also read: Female friendships are the softest yet strongest force this world has ever seen A timeline of how female friendships in Indian cinema went from “frenemy” to “sisterhood” How to successfully maintain close friendships in your 30s.
