1 week Ago
Rio Ferdinand shilling for Qatar Airways was probably not his most offensive TV offering this week; he was in his usual form watching Manchester United. A new cycle of football started on Friday with a lot of channel hopping and a Championship game between Burnley and Sunderland. Curtis and Jobi do a good job dissecting the effectiveness of a Clarets’ defence which has only conceded nine goals.
The game is broadcast all over the world. Lord knows what they make of Burnley in Chile, Peru and Colombia. Comms by Daniel Mann and Don Goodman are OK but not especially high energy, rather like the game which ends 0-0, with an inconsolable Isidor missing two penalties.
Eintracht Frankfurt v Dortmund was on Sky if you searched hard for it. Kevin Hatchard and Mark Schwarzer bring us the game. The crowd is noticeably noisy in contrast to reactive Premier League silences.
With Frankfurt man Omar Marmoush being the latest target for City’s morally and fiscally dubious finances , he was left out of the action. You can tell why Frankfurt are 3rd and Dortmund 10th. The former look dynamic and win 2-0.
It’s a bit obviously Off Tube, more so than the Serie A games for some reason. I flipped between Frankfurt and Brechin and it’s not often you can say that. The Highland League leaders were playing Hearts in the cup.
This is fifth tier versus first, on a dark night in Angus from a packed Glebe Park. Liam McLeod is in the chair with Faddy as ever, riding shotgun. Scottish football commentators are usually good and pleasurably conversational and Liam is no exception.
There’s none of the usual cliches. The referee looks like a young Mark Wahlberg. The teams are initially well-matched and Brechin score a proper thwacker from 30 yards.
Craig Levein is a fluorescent shade of blood orange at half-time and seems like an avuncular sort, a bit like a well-travelled teacher. A nice package from Fraserburgh who play Rangers in the cup. Brechin ran out of steam and lost 4-1.
Tribute is paid to Denis Law. What a player, a man who virtually invented the signature goal salute. MOTD also did a brilliant tribute with Johnny Cash playing.
I can’t tell you how much his stature and frame are so familiar, comforting almost, buried deep in my psyche. Fantastic game for Bournemouth at Newcastle and a great commentary from Darren Fletcher and co-comm from Lucy Ward. I don’t think I’ve seen a better performance all season.
They absolutely beat the sh*te out of the home team. Natalie Gedra on Soccer Saturday is proving to be a bit of a star, pitchside, at Brentford and in a second language too; I assume Spanish is her first. Cheerful and smiley, she seems to be an import from ESPN .
I predict a much higher profile for her in the coming years. She is one of those people who is totally at ease in front of the camera and that ease transfers to the viewer. Reporter Harriet Prior is enthusiastic and has amazingly smooth skin which you couldn’t say of Alan McInally whose energy and articulacy is admirable.
I’m reliably told Sue Smith is really good-natured and as cheerful as you’d imagine. Boydy’s on the panel. A professional pundit, I seem to see him virtually every day of every week.
Michael Dawson’s hair has been severely combed and he sounds like a chip shop owner I once knew. Mike Dean is either silent, defensive or dismissive and has no more idea about anything than anyone. Sky can’t possibly think his contribution is worthwhile but have booked him for a full season, so there he is.
Steve Sidwell wears a permanently surprised look, probably caused by two seasons playing 20 games for Stoke. I hope Simon Thomas has a bucket to pish in because he barely has time to use the toilet for many hours. Nice tribute to Law.
If you saw him play live, you’ll know there is no-one better playing today. The Arsenal game followed the usual pattern . Arsenal and Villa are no Bournemouth, that much was obvious.
The big screen was embarrassing Paul Merson and Lee Hendrie as it made them dance around in front of it. Excruciating. I jumped ship to the Atalanta v Napoli clash on TNT and Matt Smith and Don Hutchinson.
Somehow they feel more adult and grown up, less primary colours and block capitals in their treatment of the football than where I’ve come from with its dedication to pretending the good is great and the ordinary is sophisticated. It’s sharing the evening with two pals, not salesmen. And it’s one of the best games of the season that finishes 2-3 to Napoli.
For an unknown reason, ITV shared the Leeds v Sheffield Wednesday game with Sky and had the Waddler, who looks like a large, burrowing woodland creature, Stuart Dallas and Hugh Woozencroft who put on a bright performance. Sky dominates EFL coverage, can’t they just let ITV have sole coverage occasionally? Seems pointlessly arrogant to feel they have to be involved. Sam Matterface’s “he travels faster than bad news” comment as Dan James sped down the wing needed a lot more grease to successfully crowbar it in from his list of clever things to say.
Did you know co-comm’s Lucy Ward’s partner is Neil Redfearn? I remember him mainly from that promoted Barnsley team as captain, a proper journeyman having turned out for 20 different clubs and managing 11. Rangers were playing Fraserburgh on the BBC with Steven Thompson presenting and pundits, ex-Dundee United and Montrose man, Sean Dillon and Scott Arfield, who is now at Bolton after long spells with Burnley and Rangers. They’re a nice change, though.
As ever Faddy is co-comm. Inevitably Rangers, though a bit rubbish, are 5-0 better than the Highland League team. The Ipswich slaughter – remember it when someone says ‘anyone can beat anyone in this league’ – with a deeply unaesthetic, immorally remunerated non-footballing goalscorer , doesn’t interest me, so I had a bowl of spaghetti, garlic, broccoli and pecorino with a fillet of salmon.
I know City are capable of being exceptionally boring when winning and bullying a far less resourced team but celebrating like they’re beating a financial equal. They are an unsettling darkness and deeply unappealing. Who wants to watch that tedium? Awful.
I’m sure they pick such games to broadcast speculating that it might be a slaughter. Delighting in the money bags looking good to the hard of thinking, they wrongly assume, as is proven later in the week against a team that isn’t Ipswich. Sleep calls.
I woke up in plenty of time to enjoy the Inter Milan v Empoli game with Summerton and Spackman, the Sunday night team. They enjoyed an enthusiastic performance. I do like the studio-less programme which just replays the goals and significant action at half and full time with a quick look at the table and weekend’s results.
It’s much less flatulent and much more lean, just what you need and no more. Tuesday was Champions League day when Sky tried to compete with TNT’s European offerings and Amazon with a full Championship slate; DAZN does likewise with the National League and cup. Both are preferable to the drawn-out Champions League, frankly.
Millwall v Cardiff offered the possibility of violence. Mike Minay from BBC Radio Manchester was with Clive Allen for Galatasaray v Dynamo Kiev which I only saw because it started at 15.30.
As is often the case, the less famous comms team was very good, casting a gimlet eye over this one. I love watching Atalanta and watched their game with Sturm Graz with the estimable Jacqui Oatley and the never not interesting Don Hutchison. I particularly like the way he sets out how Atalanta usually play, having regularly seen them and who to look out for.
Atalanta win 5-0 with Lookman brilliant. TNT’s Goals Show is the place to watch the later fixtures if you want intelligence from Sid Lowe, Matt Smith, James Horncastle, Archie Rhind-Tutt and others, quality journalists all with good knowledge. I love this because of everything it isn’t: none of the usual brain-in-neutral, can’t really talk interestingly, awkward, former footballers in front of a big screen, ‘Best League’ garbage and you don’t leave feeling more stupid than when you arrived.
Rio shilling for Qatar Airways, grinning for money on a plane, was a bit of an unwelcome surprise. I mean what’s the point? ‘Old ex-footballer in a pretend plane’ adds nothing to anything. At half-time journalists provide incisive well-expressed breakdowns, the likes of which you see and hear no equal in any other context.
I would watch a Premier League or EFL equal of the Goals Show. I tried Prime’s coverage of Liverpool v Lille for 15 minutes. It was a bit insipid, just like a Sky or TNT game.
Unimaginative coverage. Prime was a chance passed over to do things in a different way, but no. They couldn’t be bothered and just cut and pasted the default way of doing it.
Couldn’t they think of anything else to do? We could give them some ideas, couldn’t we? Or is their commitment just too half-arsed? It looks like it. We’re back on Wednesday to do it all again. The autocratic money tie is naturally unwatchable, though fair play to Fletch and Coisty for getting up for City’s laughable capitulation .
The nearly man’s touchline gibberings in North London are not much better as his club valued at £1.16billion take on Zagreb valued at £87million, less than even just Declan Rice. Everyone pretends it’s an even fight.
The disparity of finances are never mentioned for fear of setting Arsenal’s predictable win like they’re playing Barnet in its proper context as no real achievement. READ MORE : How long will Arsenal stick with long-proven failing nearly man Mikel Arteta? Nice to see Joe Hart Joe Harting in his unexpected rather warm and articulate style. I would never have him down to be a good pundit but he’s one of the best regulars.
James Horncastle’s assessment of Lautaro Martínez of Inter as one of the world’s best strikers was informative. On Thursday Sky desperately tried to compete with TNT’s Europa and Conference League coverage by manipulating the fixture list so Wrexham played Birmingham, or Ryan Reynolds faced Tom Brady. I’m sure fans of both teams welcomed that.
The latest wearer of the clown shoes was Spurs at Hoffenheim, both struggling, which Spurs tried hard to lose and the travelling freak show that was Rangers at Old Trafford where Rio came out with ‘he takes risks, he’s a risk-taker’ about a Rangers player. He gets actual money for that and sounds increasingly like an impressionist’s parody. By contrast, Alan Hutton knows his Rangers stuff and outperforms the United man every time he opens his mouth.
It begins to be a bit embarrassing because you can’t help thinking they should have a second pundit, equally as across his brief, preferably one who isn’t compromised by advertising for a regime like Qatar. At least Fletch and Coisty are back from Paris albeit having to share co-comm with Ferdinand very much the second of two. It somehow seemed symbolic that United needed Rangers to score for them, so they won due to Rangers’ efforts not theirs.
MORE FROM JOHNNY ON FOOTBALL ON TV 👉 Curling toes at ’embarrassing’ Rio Ferdinand and rolling eyes at ‘unwatchable’ Man Utd 👉 Keane ‘disgust’ and MOTD plans praised while ‘haunted’ Mike Dean unwatchable.
