13 hours Ago
SINGAPORE: When the news was first broken to him that he could never play football professionally again , Adam Swandi sat stunned and in a blur. The 28-year-old midfielder refused to believe his cardiologist and clung to the hope that there was some way for him to overcome his health issues. "At that moment, definitely in my mind, there was surely a way out of this.
"I think any player in that situation would think that way as well, because we're so used to injuries and whatnot, and those are only just setbacks where you can actually come back from it to play,” he told CNA in an exclusive interview at the Lion City Sailors training centre on Thursday (Dec 26). The club announced his retirement on Tuesday, bringing an end to a career which saw him lead Singapore Under-15s to victories over Newcastle and Juventus in the 2011 Lion City Cup, and a two-year stint with French Ligue 2 side FC Metz. He was also called up to the national squad for the first time in 2013 and was the youngest player in the team for friendly matches against Myanmar and Laos.
CAUGHT OFF GUARD Adam was substituted at half-time during a Singapore Premier League match against Tanjong Pagar United in September after feeling unwell. Subsequent tests found that he had cardiomyopathy, a heart muscle disease that makes it more difficult for the heart to pump blood to the rest of the body. He was accompanied by a trainer from the Lion City Sailors Football Club when he received the news in late October.
“I think both of us were caught off guard. I guess we didn't expect that to be the final say from the cardiologist,” he recalled. "I asked the cardiologist a number of times during that session, 'Can I get back to football again?' "And I think the answer I got was pretty conclusive, that professional football is definitely out of the picture for me.
"That didn't get into me as quickly as I would want it to. I think I took some time to dwell on it," he said. Reality only sunk in when he reflected and realised that by then, he had been away from the game for a while.
Despite seeking other professional opinions after the initial diagnosis, not a single one hinted at the possibility of returning to football. "That's when I actually realised that ..
. my football career is over," he said. It was especially disheartening for Adam, who had been committed to the sport all his life – from the moment he stepped onto the pitch as a four-year-old playing for amateur side Woodlands Sunday Boys Football Club.
"It is like losing your first love. It's sad, but I think mostly really emotional for me, because my life revolved around football for all those years, since I was a kid and when I started playing professionally," said Adam. "The decision wasn't made by me.
It was a straight-up ‘no’ from the medical side, so I think definitely they knew that I didn't have any chance to get back to football." OWE IT ALL TO PARENTS Adam is the sole breadwinner in his household. He has a three-year-old son with his wife whom he married in 2020.
"In the end, I am a father and a husband, so I think I have to look at life in a bigger perspective and be thankful to still be here," he said. The first person he shared the news with outside of the cardiologist's office was his wife, who was unfazed about him ending his professional football career – she was in fact more composed than he was. He wanted to inform his parents next but was afraid they could not handle it, so he sought the help of his siblings in breaking the news to them.
"I am the baby of the family, so I think that's why my brothers and my sister are always there to help guide me through these tough moments," said Adam, who is the youngest of four siblings. He said it was especially difficult telling his parents the news because they first exposed him to the sport and then supported his growth and development over the years. "I really owe my whole career to them," added Adam.
"Of course, I'm going through it, but in the end, I feel like I try to be as successful in life for the people I love most, and my parents are really the main ones, and they should be rewarded for all their efforts. "It makes me a bit sad and disappointed to not be able to do that again for them on the field." When he eventually told his parents the news, his father was calm and told him to explore other opportunities, but his mother was quite shocked and emotional.
"She went through a lot to get me to where I am today. She spent a lot of weekends when I was younger sending me for games and for training. "So I think she definitely felt the most out of this situation, she definitely felt the most disappointed," said Adam.
In the end, she accepted it and his whole family is now happy that he is alive and healthy enough to go through life with his own young family, he said. PLANS MOVING FORWARD When he first learnt he had to stop playing, Adam said he was scrambling, wondering how to survive financially. However, the Lion City Sailors have given him continued support, something he appreciates.
"The club has also been there to give me the support and the financial security, because they have promised me that they will continue my contract, so that's something that really takes the worry away from me," he said. He added that when he had appointments with the cardiologist and other specialists, there was always someone with him – be it his trainer or other staff members – to ensure that he was also mentally well. "Of course, in the end, I want to give back to the club as a player.
But now when the doors are totally shut, I have to find other ways, and I'm thankful that the club has given me the possibility and the avenue to actually do something," said Adam. As a former footballer, the most natural progression would be a coaching job, said Adam. Other possibilities include roles in the commercial and marketing departments.
However, the 28-year-old is not ruling out a career switch to another sector beyond football. "I think life is mysterious, as it happened a couple of months ago. It's always going to be a mystery with the future.
"And as much as I love football and I want to stay in football ...
If it's going to send me to a place where it's not about football, then I'm still open to new opportunities," he told CNA. "Yes, I was a footballer. But in the end, I'm just a person, and I can do something else.
"If I have the opportunity to do something else, I definitely will, and I'm not going to shy away from new things." CHERISH THE MOMENTS When asked what he would tell aspiring footballers who are deterred by the possibility that it may not always work out, Adam urged them to give their all in pursuing their dreams as there are bigger takeaways from the sport. "My message for the younger footballers out there is definitely the same thing that I will tell to my younger self: You never know what's going to come in the future, so you give your best in whatever that you do.
"Especially in sports, most of the time it's your passion, so you will give your ultimate best and where it brings you, you will cherish the moments," he said. Even if your career has to stop at any point in time, it would not be a waste, as the experiences gained and time spent would be worth it, he added. In a way, professional football chose him, said Adam.
About two years after turning professional at 17, he signed a two-year contract with FC Metz. That was when it dawned on him that he was pursuing football as a career. "After a couple of years then I realised that, because when people ask me, 'What are you doing? What are you working as?' "I said 'I am playing football'.
Then I realised that it's a job, and that I've been a professional player for a couple of years already," he said. "I'm really thankful that my passion turned into my job, and not really everyone can say that in their lives. So even though it's short-lived, maybe around 10, 11, years, it has been fruitful.
" For Adam, the highlight of his career was making the national football squad and donning the Lions jersey. "I think it's a dream for every football-playing kid in all parts of the world. You want to represent your country because that's the highest level where all your local idols are.
"Usually, a dream is something that you cannot achieve, but thank god I managed to achieve it, and I'm very proud and happy about it. "I managed to share a dressing room with my idols as well, and turn from idols to teammates and to friends," he said, citing Shahril Ishak, Khairul Amri and Baihakki Khaizan as those he looked up to. Adam added that if his son decides to pursue professional football in future, he would certainly support him.
Given his own heart condition, he would be more cautious and ask his son to undergo medical checks. "I've always talked to my wife about this, whether my son wants to be a footballer or a dancer or anything, we are always there just to support him and to give him the best platform that we can ever give," he said. "In the end, I don't want this condition of mine to hold the brakes on anybody, especially my son.
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