Lagniappe | Where has our respect for others gone?

To subscribe, click here. To submit a letter to the editor, click here. To pitch a ‘My Turn’ guest column, email jdalessio@news-gazette.

com . Want to purchase today’s print edition? Here’s a map of single-copy locations. Sign up for our daily newsletter here I have never liked rude behavior in a man.



As “Desiderata” tells us, “Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are a vexation to the soul.” Whether it’s my Southern upbringing, my father’s strong beliefs in proper conduct or a combination of both, being of honest nature and good character have stood as the basis for someone I could trust and someone who could be admired. And I have known many men whom I have admired.

Starting with my maternal grandfather and, of course, my father. I don’t know why I have held those with “manners” in such high regard, but I have. Over the years, I’ve come to know fewer and fewer of those men.

Oh, I still meet people whose personal traits of honesty, integrity and decorum are immediately recognizable. I think I meet fewer now than I did as a young adult. I wonder why this is so.

My father could be harsh if he thought I had not treated my mother, or any woman, with respect. I was opening doors and pulling out chairs by the time I was 8. Seems silly now, but society, or at least the society I was brought up in, demanded it.

Later in life, as women’s rights and independence emerged, things changed. As a thirtysomething adult, I once opened a door for a woman as we walked into a building. She was insulted and let me know it.

“How dare you!” she said. “Don’t you think I’m capable of opening a door for myself?” I’ve since learned that some women still appreciate the gesture, but I’m conscious that many don’t. The motto of my fraternity in college was “Dieu et les Dames” — “God and the Womanhood.

” We were expected to treat all women with respect and dignity. At least in the early ‘70s, most women on campus liked that, and it kept me in line with my father’s teachings. Over the years, I’ve seen men bully women and men alike, and from time to time have intervened.

In the past few months, in public places like convenience stores and parking lots, I’ve seen tempers flare and screaming of obscenities as simple misunderstandings escalate. Following the advice of law enforcement, I no longer get involved. Cooler heads rarely prevail these days, and the result is more likely to be tragic or even deadly.

Where has our respect for others gone? Again, I don’t like rude behavior. But I see more and more of it every day. I’m not naive.

I’m a decent observer and my questions in this column are rhetorical. I’m curious what you think. I see it in Washington, D.

C., where no one with differing views can seem to sit down respectfully and work toward common ground. Things seem to quickly escalate into name calling and personal affronts.

Like facts and the truth, decency escapes us. We learn little about compromise by looking at our statehouses. Ranting is the new normal.

I say often: Truth is precious. I can add decency, character and good behavior to that..