3 days Ago By Jim Paloucek
‘Tis the season of grace, generosity and gifts. In that spirit, here are a few ideas for presents we can all give — and receive. Absent compelling reason otherwise, why not regularly grant one another the benefit of the doubt? The vast majority of the time, the vast majority of us are genuinely trying to do the right thing — as we are best able to determine it — by our families, communities and country.
We may disagree with what one of our neighbors considers to be the “right thing” in a particular context, but such a difference in viewpoint need not produce an assumption that someone is acting in bad faith. It seems social media and the immediacy of electronic communication have amplified tendencies to question and find fault in others’ intentions. And the tribal nature of our current political culture often results in attribution of ill motives to partisan opponents.
The internet has turned all of us into experts about everything; so someone who disagrees must be driven by evil intent since the correct perspective is clear there in cyberspace obvious to be seen by anyone willing to look — right? Nonsense! Two people, both acting with the purest of motivations under the same circumstances will frequently take different paths. One route may ultimately produce better results than the other. That does not mean that either started out wanting to go the wrong way.
The presumption of good intention at the heart of others’ motivations is a grace we can easily extend to one another. And such perspective has the additional advantage of being usually correct. Next, give the gift of acting selflessly in good causes and, in turn, receive the deep satisfaction that comes with knowing that you have helped.
Despite what some may want us to believe, ours is not a society in which each of us is only out for herself, where the ends justify any means. Life is not a zero-sum game. Civilization is not a bloody-fanged competition in which someone’s advancement requires someone else be forced backward.
“A rising tide lifts all boats” may be a cliché, but phrases do not become clichés without being grounded in truth. Being considerate of the interests of others, acting selflessly and sacrificing individual benefit for a larger good — these are every-day but still remarkable occurrences that happen all around us usually with little express recognition. But participation in that unspoken, elegant exchange — the foundation of our shared humanity — brings the ends of the circle together.
When able, we lift up a brother or sister who needs a hand; should we in turn be in need, the helping hand of our brothers and sisters is extended to us. It is not about having earned something, or deserving something. It is not a transaction in which ledgers are precisely balanced.
It is just that someone’s need is often meet by someone able to extend that grace. Please find and take advantage of opportunities to be on the donor side of those interactions. And be thankful for the good fortune of being able to genuinely help someone who really needs it.
Third, what a gift it would be if we refused to label one another. It has become too easy and too common to stick someone we have never met into some cubby-hole category and then treat them based on that classification. That a person is a Republican or a Democrat tells little about his or her merits.
Your nationality, the religion you practice, your race, the state you are from, your sexual orientation; these and countless more are arbitrary factors that can be a basis of categorization. But there are roughly equal proportions of good and bad among all demographic groupings of people. Knowing that someone is Hispanic or Asian or Caucasian provides zero insight about that person’s integrity, honesty, work-ethic or any other characteristic.
Whether you are Jewish, Muslim, Christian or of other or no religious belief provides no rational basis for judging the quality of your character. Labels go hand in hand with prejudicial and usually negative stereotypes which form a basis for dismissing another’s humanity, to the detriment of all. Give and accept the gift of having no preconceptions about others.
Lastly is a wish that you are able to live by the most universal moral principle in human history, the Golden Rule: “Treat others as you would want to be treated.” Happy holidays. Jim Paloucek Get opinion pieces, letters and editorials sent directly to your inbox weekly!.
