6 days Ago By Jen Garofalo
One cloudy and rainy morning, just after the freakin’ time change (because nothing says “tyranny” like the government taking an hour of sleep away from us), I awoke from a dream so vivid that I believed I was a time traveler. In the dream, I was running down the street, trying to warn my fellow citizens that we were slipping quickly back into the 21st Century Dark Ages. I kept screaming to the folks on that street, “Put down the mocha latte and listen,” but they just adjusted their AirPods and ignored me.
It seems to be happening, people. I am pretty sure it’s getting darker. Books are being banned, history is being rewritten, universities are being defunded, and the arts are being treated like a suspicious package left outside the DNC headquarters.
And just like during the Medieval Age when monks hoarded knowledge in candlelit crypts under their monasteries while the outside world descended into chaos, today’s librarians are the new anarchists — smuggling controversial books in trench coats like prohibition bootleggers. In the Dark Ages, authorities burned heretical texts and erased scientific discoveries. Progress was about as welcome as mosquitos in a nudist colony.
Fast forward to today, and the American Library Association has reported a 65% surge in book bannings. The hue and cry might be, “Oh no. These books might make people think.
” Some folks believe reading a book will turn your child into whatever they are reading. Newsflash: I never became one of the Bobbsey Twins or the Hardy Boys. (Look them up.
) Meanwhile, in education, we’ve gone from Galileo being persecuted for suggesting the Earth moves around the sun to teachers getting fired for mentioning that slavery was not a good way to treat people. Today, humanities programs are gutted faster than a shot buck in deer season. African American studies? Too controversial.
Teaching critical thinking? That cannot be allowed. The only subject with full bipartisan support? Algebra. Because most of us never use it.
As for the arts, well, they’ve always been a problem for control freaks. The Catholic Church covered up Michelangelo’s nude sculptures with fig leaves, and now, they want Shakespeare removed from schools for being too spicy. We’re one step away from repainting the Sistine Chapel beige and making museum statues wear jogging shorts.
And don’t even get me started on rights. The Middle Ages had inquisitions, witch trials, and public floggings. Today, we have bathroom bans and a renewed passion for controlling women’s bodies, all justified under the words “Think of the children!” Meanwhile, children are reading fewer books, scoring lower on tests, and becoming convinced that history began when the first iPhone was released.
All of that while having full access to the internet which is far worse than anything anyone could have imagined from the 5th to the 10th centuries. If you’re wondering what may be next in our glorious return to the past, let’s consult the historical pattern: Political fragmentation? Check. Economic instability? Check.
Suppression of ideas? Big check. If things continue at this rate, we might as well dust off the chainmail, invest in a good torch for future book burnings, and prepare for the Bubonic Plague 2.0.
There is some good news. Every Dark Age eventually gave way to a Renaissance. That’s where we come in.
If you support veterans, democracy, science, the police and rule of law, education, or simply the right to read a book without a government permission slip, now is the time to act. Otherwise, we’ll all be sitting in the town square, listening to a podcast influencer — telling us that thinking is dangerous and ignorance is patriotic. The lesson from history is clear: Censorship thrives on fear, but it crumbles when met with collective courage.
So, where are you right now? Hopefully, you’re not rewriting history — but if you are, at least make the dragons more fun this time. Nick Jacobs is from Windber.
