I was shocked to discover a friend had joined a ‘sugar dating’ site – does that make me old-fashioned?

During a recent catch-up with a friend, amid the usual gossip about the comings and goings of our hometown, she divulged that someone we know of had joined a different kind of dating site. Not as a joke or experiment, but as a serious attempt to find what she now sees as a practical solution to the nightmare of modern dating.This site connects young people (usually women) with often much older, wealthier partners who may offer financial support or gifts in exchange for companionship.

This arrangement is sometimes called “sugar dating”.At 27, I thought I had seen it all: the ghosting, the “situationships”, the perpetual doom scrolling through dating apps that leave you feeling like love is just an elaborate prank. But sugar dating? That was – and remains – unchartered territory.



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addToArray({"pos": "inread-hb-ros-inews"}); }I was shocked, not necessarily at her decision – she’s an adult, she can do whatever she likes – but at the exhaustion that must have led her there. The sheer exasperation from online dating had driven her to the conclusion that, if she was going to waste her time with men, she might as well get paid for it.This is where we are: a generation of women so disillusioned by dating apps that some see dating as a transaction rather than the pursuit of a connection.

And thanks to YouTube influencers like SheraSeven – real name Leticia Padua – this idea isn’t just accepted, it’s encouraged.Shera doesn’t call herself a dating coach, more a financial adviser. Because, in her world, dating isn’t about love – it’s about wealth accumulation.

“Sprinkle sprinkle,” as she likes to say, as she iconically mimics the motion of money flowing from one’s hand.It’s a mindset that echoes another era. Nearly 40 years ago, Zsa Zsa Gabor, the ultimate socialite and professional wife, was peddling a similar ethos, just dressed in mink and draped in pearls.

“I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?” she once quipped. And when it came to housekeeping, she famously said, “I am a marvellous housekeeper.

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adverts.addToArray({"pos": "mpu_tablet_l1"}); }As much as I find Shera and Zsa Zsa hilarious, these soundbites should be taken with more than just a pinch of salt. What’s troubling is that despite decades of supposed progress in gender roles and equality, the core message remains the same: men should be providers, and women should be compensated – whether through marriage, gifts, or straight-up payment – for enduring their company.

#color-context-related-article-3537307 {--inews-color-primary: #3759B7;--inews-color-secondary: #EFF2FA;--inews-color-tertiary: #3759B7;} Read Next square ROSE O'SULLIVAN What it's like to be a lazy, entitled member of Gen ZRead MoreOf course, there’s a difference between wanting a partner who values and provides for you and expecting a financial return on dating. The problem isn’t that women want to be courted and respected; it’s that some have given up on finding these things within an equitable relationship and instead see dating as an economic venture. But you cannot seek an authentic romantic connection, while also demanding to be paid for your time.

And let’s be honest – being paid to go on a date? Some would call that escorting. If that’s the route you choose, it’s worth being mindful of what you really want to get out of it. Are you looking for an easy side-hustle, to wine and dine as you please? Or is it about finding companionship, mentorship, and an antidote to the loneliness we all occasionally suffer as singletons?The irony is that this regressive outlook on dating is being sold to young women under the guise of empowerment.

But is it really empowering to reduce your romantic prospects to a bank balance? To trade the pursuit of genuine partnership for cold, hard cash? Zsa Zsa Gabor may have had a point when she said, “There’s no better aphrodisiac than power.” But power, in its truest sense, is being able to stand on your own, to look after yourself, to value your time without needing someone else’s Amex to validate it. As someone who wants women to have the choice to do as they please, I feel nervous about sugar dating.

That comes from my belief that it makes women worse off; that money made this way, although offering an instant sense of security, slowly rots the soul. if(window.adverts) { window.

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adverts.addToArray({"pos": "mpu_tablet_l2"}); }And then there’s the issue of men. I fear for their loneliness in a world where they’re made to believe that a woman’s interest is only sparked when the cash starts rolling in.

God forbid they’re not 6ft5in, have blue eyes, and work in finance.Perhaps women just need something more simple: time. Time to figure out if your money is working hard enough for you and if you’re living beyond your means.

Time to get over the terrible first dates, the hurt, frustration, and sense of powerlessness that we all experience as part of modern dating. Time to pick yourself up and dust yourself off, and dare I say, get back in the game..