I tried a £150 five-bird roast to see if it was the worth the money - one meat made me gag

Turducken is an intriguing blend: turkey, duck and chicken combined together and cooked as one. But why stop there? James Alexander Fine Foods' five-bird roast takes it even further by incorporating partridge and pheasant with pancetta on top. The price tag starts at £149 for a roast that feeds 7-8 people, escalating to £224 for a 16-person feast.

Before this week, I'd never sampled a Russian nesting doll of meat. Given the chance to try a Frankenbird, I was notably the only one among my colleagues ready to embrace this creation. Enticed by the novelty, I was excited about the great story it would make for my friends and family if it turned out to be brilliant, and unfortunately, it was not.



Meeting the Frankenbird As far as first impressions go, the roast is quite good looking in its uncooked form. The five birds are neatly bound together by netting, with overlapping strips of pancetta drizzled with aromatic herbs forming an appealing lid. However, it arrived without a diagram (which meat is which?) or even cooking instructions.

Though I've cooked many a Thanksgiving and Christmas , I'd no idea how to approach this roll of meat. The instructions are available on James Alexander's website, but the absence of a copy with the order seemed like an oversight. A seed of doubt was planted when a colleague passed on the roast, citing the food poisoning she suffered from a three-bird roast last Christmas.

Curious though I was, I wasn't prepared to risk food poisoning five ways for work. Adding to the tension was DPD, who delivered the roast five hours late. Even so, the bird had been kept cool thanks to an ice pack and lambswool.

Not entirely convinced, I messaged a chef friend for more detailed advice. As I was unable to identify the innermost meat, she gave me her professional advice based on UK food and safety practices: make sure its centre reached 74C - the standard temperature for cooked poultry. This wasn't an issue for me as I own a food thermometer, but it would be a guessing game for others.

. Cooking the turducken Looking at the mostly positive reviews, customers were singing praises about the roast, although many mentioned it was dry. Could it be that the intended audience were people who don't mind dry poultry? I'm not the type to plan ahead enough to bring a roast to room temperature as instructed, so it spent 45 minutes on the counter before going into the oven.

My 2.69kg roast, the smallest size available, was supposed to cook in just over two hours according to the instructions. The recommendation is to baste every 30 to 40 minutes, but without juices in the first hour, and I ended up doing it twice.

I occupied my time making enough mash for leftovers, maple glazed carrots and sautéed tenderstem broccoli, but all three were ready well before the bird. After two hours, the internal temperature was significantly below the suggested temperature at just 45C. It took another hour to reach 74C, likely due to not bringing it to room temperature initially.

The turducken verdict - is it worth spending at least £150? The roast, fresh out of the oven with its browned pancetta crust, is ready for its Instagram close-up. However, I can't help but feel a pang of sympathy for what's to come. The serving process for this unfortunate roast is akin to The Substance in reverse.

Without the pancetta shell and net, what's revealed is a dry, fleshy chunk of meat, marked by the net like pillow creases on a face. Some of the most delicious foods aren't necessarily beautiful and the true test is how it tastes. The five-bird roast is primarily filled with chicken, turkey and duck, with smaller amounts of partridge and pheasant tucked inside.

My first mouthful of all five birds quickly explains why you don't really find partridge and pheasant. The pheasant meat, which I recognise from a quick Google search, has a familiar taste that reminds me of the coagulated blood cubes I've had in pho. But it's the pheasant that really takes over, with its overwhelmingly gamey, funky flavour causing me to gag.

The main three birds - chicken, turkey and duck - are excessively dry, as other customers have also noted. The pretty herb garnish on the pancetta was purely for show, having quickly burned up in the oven. In hindsight, my first mistake was not bringing the roast to room temperature - perhaps it wouldn't have been quite so dry - and the second was neglecting to make a gravy from the drippings that first night.

As I prepared this meal on a weekday evening, I was ready to call it a day by the time everything was cooked, so the drippings were refrigerated for next time. Despite not being a fan of James Alexander's five-bird roast, I couldn't bring myself to waste it considering the number of animals that had been used. However, I found myself unable to stomach more pheasant and partridge in the second round.

The drippings made a rich gravy that made the chicken, turkey and duck easier to go down. This was acceptable, but a simple homemade roast chicken would have been far more enjoyable. Instead of the usual dry Christmas turkey, you end up with three dry meats and two that are less than appetising.

So, who is the turducken really aimed at? If you're looking for something unique and Instagram-worthy, where taste is secondary - and you have £150 to spare in this economy - then I doubt I'll stop you..