2 weeks Ago
In this extract from a new book by Sister Stan eight well-known Irish personalities share what gratitude means to them...
Sonya Lennon: ‘There is power in midlife’ Sonya Lennon. Photo: Alex Hutchison I am what is commonly known as a middle-aged woman. I recently started HRT, and my body is changing and ageing before my eyes.
This year, I will be 30 years with the father of my children. We never married. My mother has dementia, and my father, who is now 85, cared for her for 10 years before she went into residential care during the first lockdown.
He now lives alone. I’m an entrepreneur, and my business is challenging and stressful. My twins, who are 19, are barely ever home.
They are adults now, living their own lives. What I have written above is factual. It would stand up in a court of law.
Depending on your outlook and your lived experience, you might see sadness or happiness. You make your own choice to process these facts into an emotional response. My perception of my life is that breaching a half-century is a gift, not just for still being here, but also for the opportunity to maximise the learnings, experiences and network I have amassed.
There is power in midlife: freedom and generosity, clarity and simplicity. I know what makes me happy and what builds me up. I surround myself with people who understand, love, and lift me up.
In return, I love as much as possible, share as much as possible, and support within my means. I invest in growing my physical strength to help me live a long, healthy lifespan. I dress to amuse myself and dance whenever I can, and sometimes when I shouldn’t.
My mother and father still adore each other; she is safe and happy, and he lives his life to the full. I love my work. It is a constant challenge and gives me huge rewards.
I adore watching my twins fly into their lives, and I love it for them and for me. I am free to do whatever I want. No dog will be got; this time is mine.
I am so grateful for my life, health, intelligence, experiences and ability to find gratitude everywhere. It is my fuel. Sonya Lennon (she/her) is a designer and advocate for equitable workplaces Noel Cunningham: ‘With the help of Alcoholics Anonymous, I managed to get my life back on track’ Noel Cunningham.
Photo: Joe Dunne Gratitude. I never knew truthfully what this word meant. So often, I said I am so grateful .
.. So often, I thought I was grateful .
.. So often, I thought gratitude played a big part in my life! How wrong one can be.
I never knew the true meaning or sense of gratitude until life decided a few harsh lessons were to be included in my book of chance. The path towards appreciating and understanding gratitude would lie at the end of a rather rocky road. There are many who battle addiction.
My addiction crept up on me. With hindsight, I now know that there are reasons for my addiction. A young lad in a rural setting, trying to be something he wasn’t, and fighting the inevitability of being gay.
This left me vulnerable and hurt. I travelled aimlessly, moved homes and jobs without any peace, contentment or happiness in life. Geographical moves were not the answer.
Amazingly, I never lost hope. It was the death of my sister and her husband in a horrific car accident, and the words spoken by their beautiful young daughter, that put me on that road that led me back to what I call my gratitude corner. My beloved niece told me very bluntly that I had to give up drink, and I did.
With the help of Alcoholics Anonymous, I managed to get my life back on track. What followed was new achievements. I built a career and found so many positive blessings that I cannot count without feeling overwhelmed with gratitude.
I managed, having lost everything, to get a roof over my head, a car and respect, particularly from my family. I had squandered so much, I had to make amends. Now I wake in the morning knowing that I have a contribution to make in life.
I know I can give something back. I know I can make a difference, and I say with pride that I thank my God in every way for the journey I’ve made and the destination I’ve reached. That destination is my gratitude corner, and I am very fortunate in my work that I have been able to speak about my journey of addiction, and to try to explain my fulsome heart, and the joy and gratitude that I have in my heart.
That gratitude extends to trying to get people who are addicts to realise that they can too find their gratitude corners. My journey can inspire them to try to pick up the pieces of their fractured lives. My gratitude extends to being sober, and being able to have that national platform to talk from and allow people to see me at my most vulnerable, but also at my most grateful.
How lucky am I? Thank you, thank you, thank you. Noel Cunningham is a TV personality and author Andy Farrell: ‘Family is at the heart of who we are as a team’ Andy Farrell. Photo: Sam Barnes/Sportsfile.
..ABC A lifetime in sports teaches you many lessons.
Highs and lows, peaks and troughs. I feel privileged to work in sport as part of a team. As a player, there is nothing more satisfying than that feeling of working together and achieving collective success.
As a coach, manager, teacher or leader, be it in any walk of life, the feelings are similar, but there is a special feeling watching people develop, overcome challenges and strive towards reaching their potential. For the Ireland rugby team, family and community are at the heart of everything we do. We all have our own back stories.
Though born and raised in Wigan in northwest England, if you delve back a little bit in my own family tree, the Farrells’ story began in Longford. It’s funny that three generations later, my family and I are back living in Ireland and grateful to meet new friends and experience memories that will no doubt last a lifetime. The story of the Ireland rugby team mirrors that of the story of Ireland and its people.
Our players and backroom team are a diverse group who come from towns and cities near and wide, and we are all united by our desire to represent Irish people to the best of our abilities. There’s a recurring familial theme here, but the things that I am most grateful for are my family and, above all, their health and happiness. If you talk to people within the squad, family is at the heart of intrinsically who we are.
We work hard and enjoy each other’s company through shared accomplishment, and I am grateful to work with such a dedicated group. Andy Farrell is the head coach of the Irish rugby team Enda Kenny: ‘Politicians should understand gratitude’ Enda Kenny Politicians, if elected, should understand gratitude. I felt it each time a returning officer called my name and uttered the words ‘deemed to be elected’, officially recognising the transfer of trust and responsibility to the public representative to work in the interests and service of the people.
I kept that trust as the foundation of my politics over many years. I recall my gratitude to the Ethiopian taxi driver in Chicago who travelled back 15 miles to return my mobile phone, maybe because I asked about his family circumstances in Eritrea. I recall my gratitude to my fellow cyclists who pulled me from a deep drain when my bike skidded on a wet surface during a Pink Ribbon Charity cycle for cancer research.
I recall my gratitude to my Maker when I turned to face east at 18,000 ft on Kilimanjaro, to see and appreciate a molten sun climbing rapidly into a blue sky and seemingly so close to almost touch it. I recall my unbridled joy and gratitude at the birth of our three wonderful, healthy children. Gratitude brings about a feeling of something deeper than mere thanks.
It comes in many forms. Just like cancer. For me, life became a time of blood tests, scans, MRIs, conversations and then assessment and determination.
Malignant. Everybody faces mortality in their own way. It’s a sobering thought.
Time suddenly becomes so critical, and we never know how much we have. Will I ever walk in the door at home again, have a glass of wine with my wife, or a pint with friends, or go and see a football match in MacHale Park? Will I ever get the chance to finish the book I was reading? Questions flood your mind. The same applies to everybody, and some unfortunately do not get that time.
Attitude becomes so important. Just before the anaesthetic is delivered, you realise that you place the next stage of your life in the hands of people you do not know, have never met and have to rely on their skill, experience and medical expertise. So now, having less tomorrows than yesterdays, I have engaged in all the therapies and other treatments in setting out on this next stage of my life.
I do so without fear, having had a clear run so far! Cancer survivors have a closeness and a bond in telling their stories of courage and in dealing with new situations. For me, I have a newer and deeper appreciation of the things that really are important — love of family, understanding and respect of neighbours and friends, how complex and fragile life actually is. But I also understand that despite the world’s many serious challenges, life is there to be lived and to contribute to on the planet that we call home.
It’s not about fixating on what you want, but appreciation of what you have. That’s where my focus is now, especially in helping the Cancer Fund for Children, where families cope with the shock of having a child diagnosed with cancer. For that, and to the Ultimate Referee who has ordained that I can still continue to face the future in good health, I can truthfully say that I now have the deepest understanding of the meaning of that single word.
Gratitude. Enda Kenny served as Taoiseach between 2011 and 2017, and retired from active politics in 2020 Victoria Smurfit: ‘Put your oxygen mask on first’ Victoria Smurfit. Photo: Steffan Hill/BBC May I tell you what I am grateful for? 1980s pop music.
Stay with me. The music of my childhood has the ability to jump me out of any emotional dip and bring me right back to a time where joy was innate in your day. No bills, no worries, nothing to fret about, except whether or not the Angel Delight will set before my brother finds and steals it.
It is almost impossible to take any situation too seriously when Def Leppard are shouting at you to ‘pour some sugar on me.’ It’s normal as an adult to forget to have simple joy; we’re busy, juggling. However, we shouldn’t.
Think of it as the instruction to put your oxygen mask on first, then you can help everyone else. So find out what makes you silly? Then go for it. Gratitude means different things to all people.
For me, it is about resilience and acknowledgement. Clock that winterised tree, its twigs skinny and cold in the soft grey December light. Watch it magically flourish, slowly fattening with green as time passes.
I find it’s a great reminder that time comes to pass. Good things come to pass, which means so does anything troubling. Will I truly waste a season to the negative voice? The tree doesn’t, its branches resiliently waiting for its next chapter, strong, bending through the storms, ready and grateful to be still there.
Every time I hear ‘you didn’t, you couldn’t, you haven’t’ pinging around my head, I remember the tree, turn on the tunes, and think, I DID, I COULD, I MIGHT. Then I break a sweat and thank whoever needs thanking for rock n’ pop. And silliness.
Victoria Smurfit is an actor and an ambassador for NCBI, Fighting Blindness, and GOSH Catherine Kelly: ‘As an oncologist, I know life can change in an instant’ Life can change in an instant. As an oncologist, I am perhaps too familiar with this concept. Exposure to cancer has amplified my sense of gratitude for the simplest things — a cup of tea, a cosy bed, seasons changing, my daughter playing.
I am grateful for the clarity of knowing what is and is not important. I am grateful through my work to have been able to help and alleviate distress through explanations and hopefully solutions, or through listening and accepting sometimes that that is all I can do. I am humbled and awed by the honesty, resilience and strength of the people I have had the privilege to get to know and treat.
Understanding that life is short, and that we control very little, makes me face my own mortality and cherish every minute. I am so grateful for my lovely family, for my friends, colleagues, and mentors, for the variety and hope in every day, and for education and the many opportunities it has given me. It has opened doors, and continues to expand and bring meaning to my world.
I am grateful for scientific research and knowing that whatever part I play, however small, it’s a piece of the puzzle that brings us closer to answers. I am grateful for love, laughter, fun and the excitement of not knowing what is around the next corner. Prof Catherine M Kelly is a consultant medical oncologist at the Mater Private Hospital in Dublin Rosanna Davison : ‘In moments of despair and doubt, gratitude is my guiding light’ Rosanna Davison.
Photo: Steve Humphreys Gratitude fills my heart as I reflect on the good fortune in my life. At the core of it all lies my family — my husband, Wesley, and our three young children, Sophia, Hugo and Oscar. They are the bedrock of love and support that sustains me through every triumph and challenge, bringing strength to my spirit.
I am endlessly thankful for the bonds we share, forged in moments of joy and tested in times of challenge. My parents, with their boundless love and guidance, have shaped me into the person I am today. Their sacrifices and encouragement have laid the foundation for my dreams to flourish, instilling in me values of compassion, resilience and integrity.
I cherish the memories we’ve created together, from simple moments of laughter to profound conversations on their own childhoods and lives that have enriched my perspective on life. My two younger brothers, Hubie and Michael, have always been my partners in mischief and my pillars of support. Through shared experiences and shared dreams, we have formed an unbreakable bond that fills my life with joy and meaning.
Their presence is a constant source of inspiration, reminding me of the importance of connection and camaraderie. Beyond the embrace of my immediate family and close friendships, I am deeply grateful for the gift of health. Each day, I wake up with a renewed sense of vitality, able to embrace the world with vigour and enthusiasm.
The rhythm of my heartbeat, the breath in my lungs — these simple yet profound miracles remind me of the preciousness of life itself. I am thankful for the strength of my body, allowing me to pursue my career passions and navigate life’s adventures. In moments of doubt or despair, gratitude becomes my guiding light, illuminating the good that surrounds me in a world that can sometimes feel dark and difficult for people everywhere.
Through the love of my family and friends, and my optimistic outlook on life, I find solace and strength to face whatever challenges lie ahead. With a heart overflowing with gratitude, I embrace each day with a sense of wonder and appreciation for the abundant blessings in my life. Rosanna Davison lives in Dublin with her husband, Wesley, and their three children, Sophia, Hugo and Oscar Damien Dempsey: ‘The more you put into it, the more you’ll get out of it’ Damien Dempsey.
Photo: Mark Condren Thanks be to jaysus for gratitude is all I can say. Actually, I’ve more..
. Gratitude has changed my life, the way I look at the world, and the way I think and feel about everything. It’s one of the greatest gifts of wisdom there ever was, a manna from the Great Spirit, Danu, God, whatever you want to call the light.
To properly start practising gratitude, I’ve found it takes time and perseverance, like anything worthwhile. You start to realise then after a while, with a big smile, that when you’re truly grateful, it’s a joyous feeling. It’s not forced or subservient, it’s a warm glow within, so being grateful is a joyful way of life.
When you practice gratitude a lot, without fail, you’ll find you get luckier. More good things come your way, and it’s easier to help others, as you have more energy and resources and love to do so..
. When you give, you’ll give with a full heart and feel good about it, and when you receive, you’ll receive with a full heart and feel good as well, and you’ll start giving more and receiving more. It’s like studying or boxing or a bank, the more you put into it, the more you’ll get out of it.
Gratitude must become a mainstay in your life, like playing the guitar, or singing, or poetry, cooking, walking, etc...
You can’t just try it for a fortnight and throw it there. You need to keep at it through failures and hard times until it’s wedged in your heart and head, and then you’ll be in love with it and never want to live without it, and it will be one of the greatest friends you’ve ever had and will never let you down. There’s a book called The Magic by Rhonda Byrne about gratitude, and she has tasks in the book to try to help the reader get into the mindset of practising gratitude.
I just read through the book and circled passages that spoke to me, and now I open it at random every morning and read one or more of the passages, and it sets me on a better trajectory for the day. She also speaks about how important gratitude was to all the tribes of the ancient world, and reminds us that every wise woman and man who are still studied and revered down through history all placed huge emphasis on the importance of gratitude. I could never go back to feeling no gratitude for my eyesight, speech, hearing, smell, taste, legs, brain, feelings, digestive system, liver, heart, lungs, warm bed, food, roof, friends, the list goes on and on.
Take any of these away and you’d realise how grateful you would be to get them back. When I see Sister Stan’s incredible work, I feel very grateful that there are so many wonderful people like her in the world, beacons of the light, and hope, and true love. Grá mór, Damien Dempsey.
Damien Dempsey is an Irish singer and songwrite r Gratitude by Sister Stan ‘Gratitude’, compiled by Sister Stan, is now in the shops, priced €19.99. All royalties will go to The Sanctuary Read more.
