2 weeks Ago By Adam Sonin
DEAR DEIDRE: I LOVE sex so I don’t understand why I am a flop in bed with my girlfriend. I am 46 and my girlfriend is 45. We have been together for a year.
At first everything was great and exciting. We have lots in common and are good friends too. We used to have sex regularly but lately I can’t perform.
I get really nervous and can’t stay properly hard. It has never happened before with previous partners. We laughed it off, but since that first night it keeps happening.
On one occasion I lost my erection completely. My girlfriend has started asking me if I still fancy her. I keep telling her I find her hugely attractive and want us to enjoy great sex.
We are going away soon for our anniversary weekend. I am scared I will ruin it if I can’t sort this out. I love my girlfriend and I love sex, so why is this happening? Dear Deidre: Understanding the impact of ghosting MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE DEAR DEIDRE I'm risking it all for an affair with my best friend's ex CARRYING ON My son is being taken to the cleaners by his cheating wife DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend means a lot to you and you are anxious to please her.
Anxiety blocks full sexual responsiveness and the memory of it not going well has set up a cycle of fear and failure. Talk to your girlfriend before your special weekend because you will only feel under more pressure to perform. Take things slowly in bed, focusing on your girlfriend rather than rushing to have intercourse.
My support pack on Solving Erection Problems will help you resolve this for good. Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors. Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
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