'I kept having feelings like I had to phone him and check in'

When Burt Kennedy lost mate Dave Graham, he wished he made the call his instinct was telling him to make. Login or signup to continue reading "There's more to this world than we know," said Mr Kennedy, of Maitland. "Two weeks before his passing, I kept feeling like I had to phone him and check in.

"Unfortunately I didn't. Then I had a phone call to say he had passed. I was really upset with myself.



" Mr Kennedy, a long-distance runner, had been training hard at the time as part of his mission to raise awareness of mental health. "The hardest conversation you'll ever have is the one you never got to," he said. "If someone occupied a space in your mind, be sure to let them occupy a space in your day and make time for them.

" Mr Graham, of Nelson Bay, was a high-school teacher and martial arts instructor. He died by suicide in 2020 at age 48. Males are around three to four times more likely to die by suicide than females and they make up three-quarters of all suicides.

"When I had a mate take his life, I took a lot away from that," Mr Kennedy said. "Dave was one of the strongest people I knew, but the strongest people bear the most weight. "Sometimes that weight becomes unbearable.

" Mr Kennedy shared the story of his mate to mark International Men's Day. As a mental health advocate, he said "men need connection". "People underestimate the power of communication sometimes," he said.

Talking to people created lasting connections. "You don't have to ask someone how they're going. But the fact you've phoned them and been willing to talk, you've shown them you care.

" He believed men "don't generally like to express troubles to women". "You get a different connection talking to men than you do talking to women. "I know this sounds primitive, but men used to hunt with men for a reason.

"A lot of people think we've evolved past this, but men provide and protect. That gives us purpose." Mr Kennedy and Mr Graham became mates through karate and jiu-jitsu.

Mr Graham, a father of six, was an instructor at Raymond Terrace. "He could see potential within me that I couldn't see," Mr Kennedy said. "Even if you don't believe in yourself, if you have the belief of somebody else that can be enough to get you through.

" The pair knew each other for about 11 years. "I was the first student he took from white belt to black belt," Mr Kennedy said. "He was so charismatic and giving, the life of the party.

He had good energy - the kind of guy you want to be around. "You couldn't not smile if he was in the room with you." Every Christmas, there was "always a spot for me at his place if I needed it, so I wasn't alone".

"He listened when I was going through some of my hardest times." Mr Kennedy said a lot of students "don't have a great deal of respect for teachers because they're being told what to do". "Students loved him.

All the students wanted to go to his funeral, but there was a limit at the time due to COVID." Health and medicine, science, research, nutrition. Health and medicine, science, research, nutrition.

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