10 hours Ago
1. Everyone's parents opening up their computer browser, seeing this, and just saying "looks good to me": Shout out Bonzi Buddy. 2.
Having a whole-ass desktop computer in your kitchen that the entire family used: Very chill sitch. 3. A seemingly endless amount of pictures of SpongeBob looking like this: If you had this as your MySpace profile pic, it meant you once almost smoked a cigarette.
4. And like this: If you had this as your MySpace pic, it meant you once listened to Something Corporate. 5.
Going into the grocery store and seeing tubes upon tubes of Shrek GoGurt: Look at that all that goop, folks. 6. Convincing people the iPhone was worth the money by showing them that one app where it looks like you're drinking a beer: Steve Jobs' vision: finally realized.
7. Every dad on the planet carrying around a little leather BDSM case for their flip-phone: Maximum protection. 8.
That absolutely terrifying Honeycomb mascot being shoved in our faces: Chills. 9. This particular type of floor being in every single fast food restaurant: I can hear my shoes on the sticky surface right now.
10. Watching full-length movies that cost tens of millions of dollars to make on an iPod with a two-inch screen: The future is..
.TWO INCHES! 11. Constantly quoting that one Bill O'Reilly video wherein he swears: If you knew this video and could quote Anchorman, you were the coolest kid in school.
12. Every single corporate logo looking like this: Very, very odd. 13.
Everyone having these purses that pretty much immediately came apart: They lasted, like, two minutes...
but what a two minutes they were. 14. This commercial, which was basically a fever dream: APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.
OKAY?!?!?! 15. A Shrek phone? A SHREK phone? A Shrek phone: Steve Jobs is shaking right now! 16. Literally every single person on Earth thinking that talking baby in the E-Trade commercials was the funniest thing they had ever seen: The baby talks, folks.
THE BABY TALKS! 17. Just throwing an incredibly random tie with every single outfit: Rough stuff. 18.
U2 just being everywhere you looked: Bono was inescapable. 19. Constantly harassing everyone on Facebook with, like, 27 "LOST MY PHONE, NEED NUMBERS" groups: Why was everyone losing their phone so often? WHY?!?!! 20.
Everyone thinking Chuck Norris jokes were the be-all and end-all of comedy: People seriously couldn't get enough. 21. Shrek Twinkies, complete with creamy green ogre filling: Uhhhhh.
...
sure. 22. Phones having a truly unfathomable amount of little fake diamonds on them: Feel like this would scratch your dang ear up.
23. The entire world being absolutely entranced by everything related to Diet Coke and Mentos for, like, two weeks: People thought this was the greatest scientific discovery since Jonas Salks' polio vaccine. 24.
People having something like this as their MySpace profile picture: Wow. Now this is cool. 25.
Signs that solely exist to stop people from wearing Heelys: You gotta draw the line somewhere. You just gotta. 26.
Shrek Kid Cuisine that'll turn your tongue green: Doth mine eye deceive me or do I spy some goop in the middle there?! 27. A Britney Spears protective case for a Nokia phone: Not sure why a Nokia would need a case, but ya gotta love it! 28. The Crazy Frog in a flat-brimmed hat with a huge gangsta chain on: At least it's hiding his hideous you-know-whats! 29.
An American Idol PS2 game, for some reason: Okay!!! OKAY!!!!!! 30. People wearing skate shoes big enough to house a family of four: Bigger than my freakin' apartment! Bada bing! Zuppa toscana! 31. A book about a dog with sunglasses saving the world from Y2K: Pretty standard stuff here.
Moving on. 32. Faking people out with your voicemail message: All-time prank.
34. These absolutely ridiculous fries: And with that, two people finally got their wish: blue fries. 35.
A Wii disc that lets you stream Netflix: Just like the pioneers. 36. A Britney Spears inflatable chair that promises you'll be "coolin' like Britney": Now this is groovy! 37.
Mutant green ketchup: It's still hard to believe our country reached this point. 38. The majority of the human race celebrating International Talk Like a Pirate Day: It's crazy to think now, but literally, everyone thought this was so funny.
39. Shrek Rice Krispie Treats, held together with a mysterious green substance: Is that some goop? Saints preserve us. 40.
Squeezable BUTTER?!?!?!?! "Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created?" — Spy Kids 2 42. A lit'ral $120 Rugrats bowling ball: Every game is a perfect game when you're bowlin' with the 'Rats. 43.
Waffles stuffed full of fruity GOOP: MORE GOOP. MOOOORE GOOP!!!! 44. Shrek body wash, for anyone who has needed to smell like the infamously good-smelling Shrek: Hey, Dial, I wanna speak to the manager! The soap manager! Okay! Sure.
45. A 50 Cent Bulletproof -themed XBOX: Been hoping and praying for a bulletproof XBOX for years. Finally got it.
46. A Mary-Kate and Ashley Game Boy Color game that was less of a game and more of a calendar: Here's to hoping the new God Of War game is just a calendar. 47.
An electric toothbrush that only plays one song, an Ashley Tisdale song: This is a good idea! Would not drive you completely insane at all! Ha! Ha! Ha! 48. A Warped Tour DVD for PSP: The Warped Tour..
.on MY device??? Well, I'll be! 49. MULTIPLE video games featuring the Burger King King: Hope these make it to the PS5.
50. And, finally, a SHREK CHIA PET: That's it, folks. That's the most 2000s thing there is.
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