1 week Ago By Olivia Allen
When I started working at Vogue , I had lofty ideas about what this job at Vogue would look like –and getting my toes out in public wasn’t quite what I had in mind when I signed on the dotted line. However, as a shoe fanatic, I was more than happy to get involved with the foot-based initiation task that was presented to me. Enter the Balenciaga Zero Shoe: the latest conversation-starting style from the French fashion house that also brought us the £695 towel skirt .
Now, I am staunchly pro split-toe shoe – a friend recently remarked that it was “strange to see me with all my toes joined together” – but I usually draw the line at anything this exposing. Try as I might, I cannot get into the Vibram FiveFinger glove shoes . It’s important to have boundaries and this is where I draw mine.
I don’t want to go for drinks – or God forbid, a walk – with someone who looks like they’re about to go rock climbing. Please calm down, this is London. Still, curiosity (and a taste for the dramatic) won out.
My first thought upon unboxing these weird and wonderful shoes was: “Wow, that is not a lot of surface area. ” But do not be deceived: lack of material aside, the Zero Shoe has staying power. Somehow, it clings to your big toe with an alarming level of commitment, and once locked onto my freshly pedicured paws, it was time to take these bad boys for a spin.
Unbothered by a few confused looks from fellow staffers (and one colleague who audibly gasped), I ventured out to see how the Zero Shoe would hold up in the outside world. I’ll be honest: these are not all-weather shoes. But luckily, the sun was on my side, and the risk of trench foot remained low.
Ventilation, unsurprisingly, was excellent. And despite being wrapped up in a wool coat and knitted top, I stayed easy, breezy and only mildly existential. The general public, strangely, remained unfazed.
Maybe everyone’s just a bit too emotionally shut down at 3pm on a Monday to fully appreciate the avant-garde. Credit where it’s due: Balenciaga – and the soon-departing Demna in particular – continue to lure me in with their compelling and confusing footwear. This is the house that brought us platform Crocs, crushed-can stilettos and Rumpelstiltskin loafers.
As I strutted past the flower beds bordering the Vogue office, I was suddenly reminded of Cardi B’s enduring words: “I like those Balenciagas, the ones that look like socks.” By the time I looped back, I felt like a changed woman. I’d discovered muscles usually known only to those working in the field of podiatry and something had shifted.
I felt claustrophobic even thinking about returning to the world of closed-toe shoes – or, even worse, a boot. The Balenciaga Zero Shoe is not for the faint-hearted or cold-footed, but it is for those who like to make a statement. So this summer, chuck out those battered and broken flip-flops and let those toes breathe in Demna-approved style.
Wear these orthopedic creations with conviction, SPF (unless you want unique tan lines to talk about at parties) and a sense of defiance. Just watch out for puddles..
