18 hours Ago By Stuart Miller
When Roisín O’Donnell was asked to write a story about “independence in today’s Ireland” as part of a project celebrating her homeland’s 100th year of independence, she penned a tale that was both political and intimate about a woman in an abusive relationship who finally takes the first steps toward freedom.But hearing “Derry Girls” star Siobhán McSweeney read her story on the radio, O’Donnell had a reaction she’d never felt about any of her short stories. “Normally I’d feel a sense of closure and be ready to move on, but this time it felt I’d gotten the character, Ciara, into a terrible situation and I didn’t know how to get her and her children out of it.
”Out of “loyalty” to the character, O’Donnell decided to keep writing as Ciara tried “figuring out how to build a better life for herself,” she said in a recent video interview. “Nesting,” O’Donnell’s debut novel, is about a woman who has been isolated and diminished by a manipulative gaslighting man’s attempts to start afresh in a society where it’s nearly impossible to find an affordable place to live. “I think we become so numb to the statistics about women stuck in emergency accommodations – there are constantly headlines about it, but it’s hard to actually imagine what that feels like,” O’Donnell said.
The book was recently longlisted for The Women’s Prize for Fiction, and although her original narrator McSweeney was not available, another “Derry Girls” star, Louisa Harland, reads the audiobook. This interview has been edited for length and clarity. Q.
Ryan isolates Ciara from friends and family, berates and belittles her, discourages her from working and having her own income and life. But he never lays a hand on her. Why was that an important choice for you?I remember Margaret Atwood saying about “The Handmaid’s Tale” that she deliberately set herself certain limitations – not including anything that hadn’t happened to women at some point in history.
I definitely placed limits on “Nesting” – no physical violence, no bruises. I wanted to show the emotional and psychological abuse, which can be so hard to explain to others. The challenge is to make that equally threatening and frightening, which I think it is.
Women in that situation that I’ve spoken to say the only voice in their head is the voice of the abusive partner who is constantly criticizing them and undermining them. They’re constantly trying to preempt how this person might react, which is a terrible way to have to live your life. I wanted to show Ciara’s internal struggle and then her trying to get back to the person who she was.
Q. She was more worldly and educated than Ryan. Why was that disparity important for “Nesting”?I wanted to turn the stereotypical domestic abuse drama on its head.
So often in books and films, we get this impression that the woman is a bit naive or from quite a troubled background. There’s often a form of victim blaming, suggesting that it’s partly her fault. I wanted to completely dismiss that – these women can be strong and smart and kind.
Caira’s traveled and has good qualifications and Ryan feels threatened by that. His only way of maintaining control is to undermine her and specifically to undermine the areas of her life that are important to her.So he criticizes the types of books she likes to read and her family.
Ryan has managed to destroy her confidence over the years. But these are the areas of her life where she’s able to regain her strengths.Q.
One character says, “Leaving is one thing, but staying away is another,” and indeed, a different woman goes back home to a dysfunctional relationship because it’s too exhausting to survive on her own.I spoke to a number of women who had left abusive relationships and there was this feeling of having very little respite. Every day is a constant struggle – how am I going to feed the children? what paperwork needs to be done to find a place to stay or get a place to live – and these controlling partners don’t let go easily.
I used to find it frustrating with films or books where the woman leaves and drives off into the sunset and everything is OK. There’s an increasing awareness that the most dangerous time can be when a woman is trying to break away. Post-separation abuse is a massive thing.
I mean, if someone has been this controlling, they’re not just going to say, “OK, fine, off you go.” The level of pressure, of psychological manipulation, is really relentless. Ciara’s qualified as a teacher but hasn’t been able to work for a number of years because Ryan has intimidated her and insisted that she shouldn’t be working.
So she’s living in a hotel with her daughters and she’s pregnant but she was cut off financially so when she leaves she only has a very small amount of cash that she’s managed to hide in the nappy bag because she knows he won’t look there. One of the most used apps on my phone was the calculator where I’d work out how much money she has, how much she needs for food and nappies. I was trying to make that feel as authentic as possible.
It’s written in the present tense because Keira is very much trapped in the horror of the present moment, and must deal with whatever comes at her next – a loving sweet message from Ryan could derail her in a certain way, or a threatening message about custody which sends her off in another direction or one of her children gets sick or she’s trying to find a home. It’s nonstop. Later on, there are finally moments of respite, where she gets a bit of breathing space and when I was writing those sections, I could feel a physical reaction I’ve never had before.
So I think those moments where she does get a break may feel more palpable. I hope it shows there is a better life. Q.
In part because there has been no physical violence, she doesn’t think people will listen to her, so she has a hard time asking for help.There are huge psychological barriers because what happens to women in this situation is that the abuser’s behavior has been minimized and things get normalized over time. So it takes her a long time to actually see clearly that she has been in an abusive situation and then to try to seek help.
And a huge percentage of domestic abuse goes unreported because there is this shame and stigma attached – the abuser has made them feel like it’s their fault and they’ve internalized that guilt.At one point, someone finally says to Ciara, “Try to believe your story, not his. You’ve been constantly being told his story.
How would it feel to actually listen to your own story for a change?”I think we need stories like this, because storytelling has a healing power in it as well.Related Articles34 new books in our spring 2025 preview to add to your TBR pileThis week’s bestsellers at Southern California’s independent bookstoresThese 12 Noteworthy books by California authors made an impact in 2024These California publishers specialize in creating books by female authorsA trio of new books by LA writers spin the Hollywood story.
