2 days Ago
No-confidence debates similar to that which took place in the Thai parliament earlier in the week have become something of a tradition in the kingdom, but I can’t recall any such motion ever being successful. Still, at least it gives the MPs an opportunity to share their words of wisdom with us hoi polloi. These debates tend to be rather dull although there was a brief taste of excitement some years ago when one MP called a leading politician a “toad”, which didn’t go down too well.
But at least it livened up proceedings. One of the more quirky debates occurred in 1994 when the kingdom was in the midst of a political crisis. The government was wobbling and a no-confidence debate had been called.
Unfortunately it coincided with the football World Cup being held in the US. No problem. A leading opposition spokesman suddenly announced a postponement of the debate, saying it was better to hold it after the World Cup.
Nobody disagreed. It was whispered that many MPs wanted to watch the football on television and didn’t fancy having their viewing pleasure spoilt by an irritating government crisis. They were also aware that the Thai public was far more interested in the World Cup than listening to politicians droning on.
When the no-confidence debate was eventually held it failed miserably, partly because most of the opposition had forgotten what it was they had lost confidence in. Fishy business This week it was much more entertaining in the Australian parliament in which a dead fish stole the limelight. Greens senator Sarah Hanson-Young created a bit of a stir by pulling out a large dead salmon during question time.
She was protesting government policy on salmon fishing and felt the fish deserved a voice in parliament even though it was dead. Unfortunately for her it also proved to be a rather stinky fish, prompting the House Speaker to order the MP to “remove the prop” before it stunk the House out. According to TVNZ, there was a similar incident in the New Zealand parliament back in 2014 although it had a more satisfactory outcome.
In making a point Labour leader David Shearer held up two dead snapper fish of differing sizes. After some entertaining exchanges the then prime Minister John Key reportedly suggested Shearer look after the larger fish so “I can have it for dinner”. Now that sounds like a most sensible solution.
Hot potato Back in Thailand there was an intriguing incident during a no-confidence debate in the late 1990s when the prime minister of the time referred to the opposition as “mun’’, a common potato. Well, that was his story. Rival MPs disputed this interpretation and claimed the PM had actually used the word “man”, meaning “thing” which is definitely not polite.
However, the PM stood by his version. If nothing else it gave the potato a new status in the vegetable kingdom, the first veggie to be used as an insult in the Thai parliament. It was thought it might spark a trend in vegetable insults.
However, politicians seemed reluctant to call one another “onion head”, “fat cabbage” or “tomato face”. News from the moos There have been many offbeat Thai parliamentary exchanges. One I recall was a debate over the mystery of the missing cows.
There was a project to transfer a large number of livestock to Isan to help poor farmers. It was a laudable cause, but alas most of the cows never actually made it to the designated location. They simply vanished.
The official explanation was that the cows were distributed by a “special method” which apparently was not quite so special after all. It was later admitted the distribution method was “99% problematic”. To look on the bright side, 1% of the cows made it to the correct destination.
Many years ago there was a great debate over whether a garbage disposal factory had been built to the right specifications. It dragged on for months and was frankly quite boring, but at least prompted the splendid newspaper headline “Cabinet meets on rubbish dump”. Good for a laugh There have been sporadic attempts to upgrade the quality of repartee in the Thai parliament.
Some years ago a political party announced it would field 20 professional comedians at the upcoming election. It was not a raging success as the public quickly pointed out there were more than enough comedians already in parliament without adding to their ranks. As an example, one MP prompted considerable mirth when he explained that when MPs shut their eyes and snore in parliament they have not nodded off but are “deep in thought”.
Letter from America In last week’s item concerning the BBC World Service shortwave radio I was remiss in not mentioning one of my favourite programmes, Alistair Cooke’s weekly Letter From America. A gifted raconteur, Cooke had the knack of making the most complex issue understandable to listeners all in the space of 15 minutes. He managed this without sounding at all pompous and it felt like he was in the room with you having a fireside chat.
Amazingly he continued his broadcasts until just three weeks before his death in March 2004. He was an absolute master of his trade. Goodness knows what he would make of what’s happening in America these days.
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