2 weeks Ago
SOUTH EUCLID, Ohio – Thanksgiving, which many U.S. families celebrate, is resplendent with food and, we hope, gratitude.
We might savor or favor a special side dish or dessert, but the central attraction – whether meat or another nourishing choice – is a focal point. Conversation, we hope, can be positive and uplifting. In an atmosphere of goodwill, appreciation flows freely – as do smiles, quips and a sense of being truly together.
A memorable skit on Saturday Night Live years back featured a family at a nicely set table with extra servings of family drama. They don’t need to sell that in a store; each home has its own, secret recipe. What made the skit tragically funny was the incongruity of what the day aspires to, and what it can actually be.
The memorable Debbie Downer was played to the hilt by Rachel Dratsch. For examples of real-life gratitude in action, we do not have to venture far. From kids’ sharing toys in the sandbox on a sunny day, to elders walking hand-in-hand, admiring the sunset, to a courteous clerk and customer chatting .
.. mutual appreciation helps us bond and feel connected.
In a White Paper written for the Templeton Foundation and appearing on the University of California, Berkeley, website, we learn that “[E]nvy, materialism, narcissism, and cynicism” make gratitude difficult whereas “[Expressed] gratitude inspires people to be more generous, kind, and helpful (or “prosocial”); strengthens relationships, including romantic relationships; and may improve the climate in workplaces.” (pp. 3, 5).
Source: https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Gratitude-FINAL.
pdf As I see it – and you are free to see it differently, wise readers – an admonition that “You should be grateful” is unlikely to inspire others to genuinely feel appreciation. It may even provoke guilt. In my experience such a command is stated through gritted teeth by someone at the end of their rope to someone down in the dumps.
Neither giver nor receiver of this imperative spreads much goodwill. The twin abilities to feel gratitude and the ability to give freely somehow blend gifts of attitude, demeanor and action. A friend who taught in Thailand wrote enthusiastically about Teacher Appreciation Day when students and parents alike came to school to acknowledge teachers‘ vital roles.
He had never felt so appreciated, respected, even loved – and his writing had never been so lively and full of joy. Another friend turned down a small gift I hoped to bring her dog for the holidays. “Maybe I do not even want it!” she said.
I was hurt and shocked that a small gesture would be rejected in that way. I gave it (a box of dog biscuits) to someone else, who shared his dog’s appreciation. Snarkitude (a fashionable, if not entirely official term) is the polar opposite.
A sneer, a fake smile, a clever twist of phrase ...
all contribute to the effect. It reaches a peak, for some, in the second semester of 7th grade, while for others, that is just the beginning. They wear cracked snark-lenses with fingerprints and scratches; it’s amazing any light gets through.
Through those lenses everything looks worse than it is. A hard shell may protect the wearer’s heart from music, beauty and even pain. A gratitude cape, by contrast, flows with the wind in a fabric soft, strong and supple.
Gentle reminders. “As a dairy farmer, I regularly appreciate all the food that we are provided with daily as I know first-hand what it takes to raise and harvest these products, but during the holiday season, I think farmers also rise to the top of the list as something to be thankful for.” - Julie McCormick Source: Marie Morris, “Harvest Gratitude this November.
” 20 Nov. 2024. Ohio Farm Bureau.
https://ofbf.org/2024/11/20/harvest-gratitude-this-november/ “I encourage you to reflect on all of the people you appreciate. Take the time to write notes, send text messages or make phone calls to let them know how much you value their contributions.
Your kind words of thankfulness have the power to bring happiness and light to your co-workers, patients, friends, family and community.” Source: Carol Bradford, M.D.
“The Power of Gratitude.” The Ohio State University College of Medicine. https://medicine.
osu.edu/ohio-state-medicine-dr-bradford-message/november-2020-gratitude Reminder: This year’s Giving Tuesday is Dec.3, 2024.
Whether you’re a nonprofit, business, or individual, consider some innovative ways to invoke spirit and support for your cause. To help organizations in their outreach, there is a website explaining the day: givingtuesday.org Tips on getting the word out, and stimulating enthusiasm, are included.
And if you are a prospective donor, perhaps think about the causes or places that you are most grateful for. We are interconnected. No one can do everything, but everyone can do something.
And the best advice I have ever heard on how much or how often to support a cause: “Give till it feels good.” – Rev. George Hausmann.
Best wishes! Wishing all Sun Messages readers a safe, happy Thanksgiving weekend. Send notices of awards, accolades, events and activities to [email protected].
