2 weeks Ago
It was probably about 6 years old when my little sister did something dastardly like play with my toys, take my favorite T-shirt or look at me. Incensed, I tore into the living room yelling, "I hate my sister." That was the last time I ever uttered those words toward my sister.
Mom and Dad were quick on their feet to sit me down with a stern lecture and discipline of making me be alone in my room for awhile — a penalty I'm sure felt unwarranted at the time. But when both parents come down with the same level of punishment, it's a memory that takes hold. Hate was not a word to be used in our house.
It was not tolerated. That emotion leads to ugly things; and our faith means we do better. "You can be angry, mad, frustrated, irritated or any number of things," Dad said.
"But you will not hate anyone, especially not your sister." People are also reading..
. These 19 new restaurants are coming to the Tulsa area soon Tito Jackson of Jackson 5 dies Sheen in Zink Lake caused by natural phenomenon, city says Postal Service cancels plans to end local mail sorting in Tulsa OU's Patty Gasso gets historic pay raise, will make $2 million next season Bill Haisten: In Union’s victory over Jenks, there was more anger than scoring Fatal collision forces police to shut down traffic at 71st Street and Yale Artist shares revised concept for Cry Baby Hill statue after public backlash Barry Lewis: Officials made right call in Jenks-Union game, but there’s a larger issue here Teacher arrested while praying during 2020 Trump rally in Tulsa tells her story Man ran red light, causing fatal crash at 71st and Yale, Tulsa police say 'A ridiculous expenditure': Lloyd Noble II on the new OU arena as city council vote looms 'Patty transcends softball': OU unveils Gasso statue, honoring the winningest active coach in NCAA history Teenager pulled from Tulsa Wave Park on Sunday POLL CLOSED: Vote for the Bill Knight Automotive high school football player of the week for Week 2 To this day, I cannot remember a single moment when my parents — or even grandparents — said they hated a person. There were people they disliked or found annoying, but never hated.
By extension, my sister and I don't use that word when discussing people. There are things I hate: black licorice, underwire bras and meetings that could have been emails. But living beings? No.
That's why when former President Donald Trump wrote in all capitals that he "hated" Taylor Swift for endorsing his opponent for president, it caused a visceral reaction. It's the kind of language and vitriol that has been exhausting, unproductive and divisive. That isn't a judgment on his policies, only the words and emotions he puts into the world.
We need to disagree better. We need respect in disappointment. My paternal grandfather spoke quite a bit about living in humility and in service as the righteous path to the kingdom of God.
We didn't share the same religion, but we shared the same DNA, values and ideals. Our love transcended the churches we choose to attend. His favorite verse was John 3:17, interpreting it to live without judging others.
If Jesus wasn't sent to condemn the world, then it's not up to us to do that, either. If we can withhold judgment, it becomes easier to be rooted in love and to avoid hate. But, there is another verse I've recently come across that connects: 1 John 2:9-11.
"Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness.
They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them." Hate can be so blinding. Left unfettered to grow, it can take over our well-being and escalate into violence.
Lashing out in hate carries a caustic residue, deserving of a criminal category of its own. In Oklahoma, hate crimes are at its highest peak since 2000 at 79 confirmed incidents (based on 2022 data, the latest available), according the U.S.
Justice Department . It's the fourth highest since 1991. The past decade has seen a 276% increase in hate crimes in Oklahoma, increasing from 21 in 2012 .
The most recent data shows that most types of hate crimes in the state are against people (86%), and most (68%) are motivated by hatred of a person's race, ethnicity or ancestry. The next top reason is based on a person's gender identity (19%) with religion at 6.3%.
A DOJ report provided the following examples of hate crimes committed in Oklahoma based in race and gender identity motivation. • On Oct. 31, 2022, the Donut Hole doughnut shop in the Brookside neighborhood was vandalized with a baseball bat by 25-year-old Coby Dale Green, who also attempted to fire bomb it, after the restaurant hosted a drag queen event.
Green entered a plea agreement and sentenced to 60 months in prison , followed by 3 years of supervised release. • In 2022, two men — Devan Wayne Johnson and Brandon Wayne Killian, who are white — pleaded guilty and were sentenced to 6 and 10 years in prison, respectively, for a racially motivated attack at the Brickhouse Saloon in Shawnee. The two men must also pay the victim $113,644.
40. They attacked a Black man and his white friend in a parking lot unprovoked with one saying "You're dead" followed by a racial slur. It's not hard to find violence grounded in hate in the world; it's the source of wars, corrosion of cities and fractures in families.
These crimes are born with the acceptance of hate in their communities. It can be overwhelming. But, we can start with our words, ending hate in our speech before it ramps up into actions.
The simplest way to deal with haters may be how Taylor Swift handles it: Shake it off..
