2 weeks Ago By Katherine Lucas
It’s not so much that England lost this series decider inside two-and-a-half days or were skittled for 112, their lowest total of the Bazball era. It was more the complete and utter lack of fight and character that was most concerning. Pakistan were very good, especially their spinners Noman Ali and Sajid Khan, whose introduction after the hosts had lost the first Test in Multan by an innings utterly transformed this series.
The pair took 39 of the 40 England wickets to fall over the course of the final two Tests. Sajid, whose moustache and manic manner make him appear like a circus strongman, took 19 at 21.10.
Noman, a 38-year-old journeyman with an utterly ordinary record before this, took 20 at 13.85. On Merseyside they would have called him no-mark Ali.
Read Next 'Woeful' Pope scores 0 in England player ratings from Pakistan horrorshow Not since Mitchell Johnson in the 2013-14 Ashes in Australia have England been so badly exposed by one bowler in a single series. But even taking into account the extreme lengths Pakistan went to to ensure the pitches for the final two Tests were tailor-made for their bowlers, this was just awful from England. Turning up on this final morning on 24 for three, still 53 adrift of parity, was, to borrow George Clooney’s catchphrase in O Brother, Where Art Thou?, a tight spot.
But all hope had not been lost. Captain Ben Stokes admitted afterwards he felt like his team could still win from that position. It didn’t look like it as England lost their final seven wickets for just 49 runs to set Pakistan 36 to win – a target so paltry it took them just 19 balls to knock off.
This was the meekest of surrenders and totally at odds with the cult of positivity espoused by Stokes and coach Brendon McCullum. Asked afterwards whether the manner of that collapse concerned him, Stokes replied: “I think if you look into it too deeply – something I don’t like to do – I could maybe say yes.” After six successive defeats in Asia under Stokes – remember Ollie Pope was captain for that first-Test win – maybe it’s time England did start to look deeply into what’s going wrong.
This group have suffered some shocking defeats in the Bazball era – thrashed by an innings at Lord’s by South Africa in 2022 and those final four one-sided Tests in India earlier this year. Yet this ranks as worse than any of those. This looked like England were phoning it in on the final morning with one eye on catching an early flight home.
There was zero resistance, fight or character. Conditions suited Pakistan. They pushed home advantage to the limit after going 1-0 down, playing the second Test on a used pitch and doctoring the surface for this series decider with patio heaters, industrial-sized fans and rakes to suit their spinners.
Read Next The deafening silence over Imran Khan's treatment in jail shames cricket But England didn’t really do enough to adapt to those conditions and were like rabbits in the headlights here in Rawalpindi even though they looked to have gained a decisive advantage by winning the toss. They were timid in the field as they conceded a first-innings lead of 77 and timid with the bat, maddeningly so on this final day. It was summed up by Stokes’ bizarre dismissal when he was trapped lbw by Noman as the ball hit his crotch after he inexplicably shouldered arms.
It was emblematic of England’s total confusion about how to play the situation. Stokes is the spiritual leader of England’s aggressive approach. To be dismissed in such meek fashion felt as though not only the captain but the whole team had been emasculated.
That confusion spread to Jamie Smith, whose first-innings 89 had rescued England but who this time was bowled by Sajid following a wild slog so ugly its own mother would have struggled to love it. England’s players are human. Touring life can be tough, especially on the sub-continent.
Mistakes and errors of judgement happen. But to have such a collective meltdown with the game and the series on the line is deeply worrying. Read Next My predicted England XI for the 2025-26 Ashes based on Pakistan series so far Australia next winter will be far tougher than this.
The pressure will be amped up to the maximum and they will have to deal with the abuse they get from fans, members of the public and even Australia’s players. This is a country that loathes Bazball and the very notion of an England team attempting to save Test cricket by playing in an aggressive and entertaining way. How will England’s players cope in that Ashes cauldron Down Under? Not very well if this is any indication.
Also where is that aggression and carefree attitude? Something seems to have been lost on this tour. Indeed, it ended like so many England tours of the sub-continent over the years – in calamity. Have the Bazballers lost their identity? It certainly feels like it.
This performance was more akin to watching England in the 1990s. They won’t have long to find themselves either, with three Tests against a New Zealand side who will still be buzzing from winning a series in India starting next month. For now they return home having lost this series 2-1.
They have been outmanoeuvred by conditions, out-thought by dogged opponents and simply outclassed over these final two Tests. And the conclusion to all this was embarrassing..
