20 hours Ago By Liz Rogers
Q. I’m freaking out. April’s coming, I’m nervous about PSSA tests.
I hate them. They’re long. You can’t study for them, not really.
And everything – I mean everything – rides on them. I want to go to college. My mom always tells me how proud she is of me.
She didn’t get to go to college, neither did my dad. I want to make them proud by graduating from a good college. But I test horribly.
How do I get into a good college if I can’t take tests? – 14-year-old Mary Jo’s Response: I appreciate your question. The most important thing I’m going to say to you is right now, so please listen. You are a person of great worth.
Your worth is not determined by your PSSA scores. Your worth is not determined by your attending college, although I certainly support your dream to do so. You are worthy, no matter what, simply because you were born.
You are the only you. You are a unique, amazing creation and no one – no one ever – will be you again. I also think your mom and dad agree with me.
Parents can be very proud of their kids for a lot more than going to college. Now, let me try to ease your fear. When you say you’re “freaking out,” it means you’re experiencing anxiety.
People feel anxiety for many different reasons. For me, anxiety is driving a car when snow begins to fall, and roads get slippery. How do I handle this feeling? Here are my “go-to'”hints for anxiety: First, I try to own the anxiety.
I don’t mask it or deny it. Yep, I’m frightened. I can prepare for fear.
I make sure my car has good tires. I check the weather forecast. For you, although it’s true you cannot study for PSSA tests per se, you can learn how to take a test well.
There are many places where you can take classes on test taking; you can also learn how to enhance your test taking skills at home by using online test-taking videos. Second, I make sure I have support. When an unexpected snowstorm hit once and I needed to drive 40 minutes on two lane roads, I called my then-teen daughter, and she talked me through the experience.
Her calm voice saying, “You’ve got this, Mom,” gave me courage. Talk with a trusted adult before test week. Your parents are your best bet, since a lot of your anxiety stems from the fear you will disappoint them.
Show them this column. Other trusted adults who could help are your school counselor or your teacher. Be honest.
You can also prepare by eating well, getting a good night’s sleep, and relaxing during down time. Third, find something that calms you. For me, it’s centering my breathing.
I use slow, paced breathing. I take a deep breath (often called a cleansing breath) to start and then focus on my breath as it enters and leaves my body. One helpful breathing technique is 4-7-8 breathing.
It involves inhaling (breathing in) for 4 seconds, holding your breath for 7 seconds, and exhaling (breathing out) for 8 seconds. As you let the breath out, think words to ease your anxiety – positive self-talk, like, “I can do this” or “It’s just a test.” Fourth, reward yourself with something small each test day – a treat, time with friends, a new library book or watching a movie.
The idea is you will look forward to the positive reinforcement and not dread test days. Finally, please remind yourself it IS just a test. Standardized testing is complicated, and many educators believe we do too much of it.
Some colleges do not even look at test scores – most are interested in your grades, your extracurricular activities, and who you are as a person. Remember, you are a person of great worth. Believe in yourself.
You’ve got this. Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.
com..
