2 weeks Ago By Peke
It’s like NamPower and its main squeeze, the Electricity Control Board (ECB), think Namibians are made of money. Do they imagine we’re joking when we say, “ , we’re broke?” It’s not a riddle – it’s reality. Just who, I ask, do they think is going to pay for this “luxury” when they’re pricing it out of our reach? Heh? Are those MBAs and fancy degrees, straight from the Czech Republic, not working their magic? Is basic math lost on these folks? Because if they’re doing the numbers right, I think they’d see we’re all only this close to investing in three-legged cast iron pots and stocking up on good old candles.
Don’t laugh. The only reason half of Windhoek hasn’t done it already is because the Ministry of Mines and Energy still promises us affordable loans for solar panels. But trust me, if those don’t materialise, prepare to watch Windhoek return to its name – Otjomuise – with a thick cloud of fire smoke hanging in the air.
We will cook outside, man! As for office work, we came from paper and we’ll return to paper. Metal sheets and iron will be bent by hand and hammer, we will carry those tonnes on our shoulders in the factories. We beat apartheid, dammit! Don’t try us! We love and appreciate electricity, but it shouldn’t cost us our spouses.
Do you know how many divorces are filed when that prepaid electricity meter runs dry? Even Tate Tom, our minister, tried warning these highly paid paper-pushers about what’s coming. But they seem to have selective hearing, while they sit comfortably with their fat salaries. They probably think this electricity situation will sort itself out.
Trust me, it won’t. We’re already inching towards financial implosion here, and all we’re saying is, if the prices don’t go down, you can just shut it down! We will sit around our fires and sing ‘Independence or Death’ by Tate Kaujeua, while cooking those beans that take six hours to get soft. Trust me, we will find a way to weather the darkness.
We were fine without electricity before, we can make it work again. Talking of sanity. Groen Dakkies is a real place.
Some people go there unwillingly, but soon enough, that hotel could become a hotspot for people needing to escape their electricity worries. We could make Groen Dakkies the social gathering of the year! I am already working on alternative solutions to our plight. How about those backyard hand-crank generators? It’s time to revive some manual labour.
Or, we’ll bring out the old pedal-powered devices, and each family can take turns pedaling to generate their own power. It’ll be a great workout, and suddenly, every Namibian will have calves of steel. Need to charge your phone? Pedal for 15 minutes.
It’s practical, and it’ll double as the country’s new fitness programme. If NamPower can’t keep it together, then neither can we, and it’s time to adapt. We’ll start washing clothes by hand early in the morning and wear them damp to avoid creases.
As for showering, some doctor on TikTok just claimed it is healthier to wash with cold water. See, these ideas might sound strange, but they’re not so far out of reach. We Namibians can be as tough as the climate we live in, and we’re adaptable too.
But here’s the point: why should we be driven to this? What we’re saying is: before it comes to the point where all of us are roughing it and pretending it’s a lifestyle choice, maybe NamPower and the ECB should trim the fat off their own salaries and make a real attempt to manage costs before passing every bit on to us. I, for one, don’t believe this is all about the cost of the imported electricity. These fools have probably over-scaled operations beyond their reach.
They should take the hint: We’re tapped out, and if they don’t think of something soon, we will turn those power line poles into wood for the oven..
