2 weeks Ago
This week’s column is all about making sure you are caring for you, and prioritising your needs during the autumn and winter months. In fact, I’d like to suggest that you do something amazing for yourself which will help you enjoy them better. Most of us feel we are luckier than people in previous generations and indeed luckier in many respects than our children and grandchildren.
But at the same time, I believe we should remember that we’ve worked for decades for many reasons, one being so we could enjoy our later life. So, how about seizing the day and buying something you would love to own, or booking a winter-sun holiday, or taking up a new hobby, or setting up your house differently so you can make your existence more fun and interesting? I was talking to a great friend the other day and we were saying how sad it was in a way that certain subjects at school had not enthused us, but how we’d like to know about them now. He said he’d like to have a go at studying history, and I’ve found myself wondering if I could get my head around a science subject, having always been solidly occupied with, and interested in, the arts.
I imagine many of you reflect in this way. It’s never too late to study; and what could be better through the winter – instead of overdosing on box sets – than using your brain more and filling your mind with new, fascinating information. A good way of doing it would be to look at online learning, perhaps with the Open University, where there are masses of options.
Maybe too, if you decide you want to embark on some course or other, this might also be a time to think about re-configuring your house to make it more convenient – for example you might want to create a study where you can leave books and papers around knowing that they won’t have to be disturbed. How many older folk, I wonder, do their admin or accounts or hobbies on a corner of the kitchen table, which they constantly have to clear, even though they have at least one spare room that is rarely used. Is it time to make your home more user-friendly for you? A significant number of individuals of our generation are living in a small portion of their accommodation while several rooms are empty – just so they are ready and waiting when family come.
I have a woman friend, Maria, who keeps her daughter’s old room just as it was when she left to get married. But she is coming to believe that it’s time for a change because on average, her daughter spends just four nights a year there. Recently, Maria has taken up sewing in quite a big way.
She started doing alterations for friends and now finds herself with a little business. It would make real sense for her to turn the daughter’s space into a sewing room and get a bigger machine, buy a long hanging rail and generally make the room efficient and welcoming so she could invite clients up there for their measurements instead of trying to operate from her kitchen as she does now. A divorced man I know who has a bad back and spends most of his life at home is very keen on sport and wants a new television.
But he’s a terrific granddad and likes to help his family with regular injections of cash – and he feels guilty at the thought of spending so much money on himself. But I think he deserves it, don’t you? It could make his winter nights a lot more entertaining as his current set has definitely seen better days. Another couple I know have insufficient space for their clothes and other belongings because the wardrobe and drawers in their spare room are stuffed with children’s toys which they’re reluctant to throw away despite their offspring being in their 50s and even the grandchildren now too old for the toys.
A near neighbour of mine has become very close pals with another woman from her book group. They spend more and more time together and are beginning to wonder why they are living in separate houses. Sharing a home would make good sense financially but both of them worry that it would not be so easy for their respective children to pay visits.
However, they’re coming round to the view that they ought to live the life they want now, while they can, and need therefore to find a way round this problem. I’m not suggesting we neglect our families. Nothing could be further from most of our minds.
But it’s a question of balance and of ensuring we are not neglecting ourselves. This is a good time of year for us all to reappraise how we want to live at the moment, and to decide how we can facilitate changes that would enable us to do so. I’m sure our younger selves, who worked hard so we could have a better life as we aged, would be pleased if we did.
.
