2 days Ago By [email protected] (Coleen Nolan)
I’m not proud of it and it wasn’t planned – but i want to keep the baby. Get the latest top news stories sent straight to your inbox with our daily newsletter We have more newsletters Get the latest top news stories sent straight to your inbox with our daily newsletter We have more newsletters I really hope you can help with the mess I’ve got myself into. I had a short affair with my best friend’s boyfriend when she was away for a few weeks this summer.
I’m not proud of it and it wasn’t planned – I’d never even thought of him in that way before. But we hung out a lot while she was away and, well, one thing led to another. I ended it before she came home and agreed with her boyfriend we’d keep quiet about it and nothing like that would ever happen between us again.
Now I’ve found out I’m pregnant . It’s early stages, but I’ve got my head around it and want to keep the baby because I’m 34 and single. Maybe that sounds selfish, but this might be my only shot at being a mother.
I’ve decided it’s too big a thing to keep from my friend and I think I have to tell her, but her boyfriend is going nuts, saying it’ll wreck their relationship. I realise that and I also know it’ll probably mean the end of my friendship with her, too. But I think it’s the price we have to pay.
How should I handle this? I keep going over it in my mind and can’t imagine saying the words. Please help. I agree, you shouldn’t hide it – it’s not fair on your friend or the baby.
It’ll be stressful to keep this deceit going and you don’t want to lie to your child when they start asking questions about who their dad is. This guy is obviously beside himself, but he should have thought about the potential consequences of sleeping with his girlfriend’s best mate. To be frank, if I were your friend, I wouldn’t want either of you in my life.
You will lose this friendship and maybe they’ll split up, and you’ll have to get your head around raising the baby on your own and accept this man might be in and out of your child’s life. I do understand you’re in your thirties and if you want to keep the baby, you should – this is your choice. You’ve made the decision and now you have to focus on the baby.
I’m sure it all feels like a mess now and like you’ve wrecked lives, but your friend will work it out and she will get over it. You’ve wrecked the friendship for sure, but you haven’t wrecked her life. Hopefully, she’ll look back at some point and be grateful her boyfriend showed his true colours before she got married to him or had a baby with him herself.
If you or he can’t face telling her in person or on the phone, then write to her (but not via a text), sleep on it and re-read it before you send it. A letter will give her time to digest the news then maybe you will be able to follow it up with a conversation. There’s no easy way to tell a friend something like this, but I hope it all turns out well for you and the baby.
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