8 hours Ago
Dear Annie: My husband, “Jake,” and I have been married for eight years. We have a 5-year-old son, “Caleb.” For the most part, we have a solid marriage, but there’s one issue that keeps coming up -- his mother, “Linda.
” Linda has always been a little overbearing, but ever since Caleb was born, it’s gotten worse. She stops by unannounced at least twice a week, criticizes my parenting (“You should really be making his lunches from scratch”) and overstays her welcome. Last month, she gave Caleb ice cream right before bed, even though I’d told her not to.
When I said something, she laughed and told me to “lighten up.” I’ve told Jake how much this bothers me, but he avoids conflict. He says, “That’s just how she is,” and tells me to let it go.
But I can’t keep letting it go; it’s exhausting. I don’t want to start a family war, but I also don’t want to keep feeling disrespected in my own home. How do I handle this when my husband won’t step up? -- Tired of the Third Parent Dear Tired: Just because your husband is used to his mother’s behavior doesn’t mean you have to accept it.
The first step is having a conversation with Jake. Explain to him that his mother’s presence affects your sense of privacy and control in your own home, and that you need him to back you up on this for the sake of your marriage. Then, together, you can establish some ground rules for his mother’s visits.
Read other recent Dear Annie columns Dear Annie: My sister can’t manage her finances. Will I ever see the money I loaned to her again? Dear Annie: How do I get my husband to help with chores? Dear Annie: How can I fix my relationship with my son? Dear Annie: Money seems to have changed my brother for the worse Dear Annie: Why do people choose careers they don’t like? View prior ‘Dear Annie’ columns “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information.
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