1 day Ago
Dear Annie: This letter is in reference to the aunt and uncle who provided generous gifts to their six nephews, only to be forgotten when it came time for those same nephews to thank them. I would suggest that they do what I have done with my 20 grandchildren: I’ll give them birthday cards and gifts until age 18. At that time, I let them know that their 18th gift is their last birthday gift, but that I will always love them and give them a birthday card thereafter; then, for Christmas, they receive a card and gift until their 21st birthday, which is then their last gift.
Again, I let them know that I love them and will continue to send a card after their 21st Christmas. This way, once they are adults, I am free from what could begin to feel like an obligation. The joy they feel as children when receiving a gift is my joy as well, but once they are adults, it is now their turn to be generous to others.
-- Generous but Practical Grandma Dear Generous but Practical: I love your observation that it is a joy to give. That is so true. Oftentimes, it feels better to give than to receive, and your letter touched upon this important feeling.
Thanks for letting us know how you handle the issue of giving gifts early and cards as the kids get older. Dear Readers: Today’s column originally published in 2022. Read other recent Dear Annie columns Dear Annie: Dealing with my boyfriend’s insecurities is exhausting Dear Annie: My husband refused to stop talking to his ex until I threatened to leave him Dear Annie: Should I include my dead son when someone asks how many kids I have? Dear Annie: I’m tired of my husband’s condescending attitude Dear Annie: My high school BFF and I are drifting apart View prior ‘Dear Annie’ columns “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book.
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