1 week Ago
This unexpected question echoed through the airplane cabin on my flight from South Bend to Las Vegas last weekend. A handful of other passengers heard the same line from an 85-year-old woman sitting behind me in seat 11C. No one said anything, of course, but the old woman definitely had our attention for a minute.
Or maybe it was for an hour. Fortunately, I sat in seat 10A so I could hear everything she said but I didn’t have to interact with her. The old woman, who once lived in Vegas, shared too much of her colorful life on our flight.
“I just love people,” she explained to my son, who sat directly next to her. “People in our country don’t talk to each other enough anymore. They’d rather just ignore each other these days.
It’s a darn shame.” My son was asleep, or pretended to be, but it didn’t stop the old woman from chattering to anyone within earshot, including me. That was when I began writing this column during that 3-1/2 hour flight.
“People aren’t as bad as we think,” she said as our plane ascended. “We have more in common than we do different.” That was when I realized the old woman has a valid point.
Throughout my week-long vacation to Las Vegas and Southern California, I searched for these commonalities. And I continually found them. It began with the passenger sitting next to me on that flight.
Ben Quartey, who lives in Kalamazoo, Michigan, was flying to Vegas to meet with members of his fantasy football league. We talked about pro football and his favorite team, the Indianapolis Colts. During the flight, he took detailed notes about NFL players to draft for his fantasy team.
Quartey, who’s in his thirties, was affable and charming. He chatted with my wife for more than an hour about a wide range of subjects although his initial plan was to listen to music through his wireless earbuds. Listen now and subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | RSS Feed | SoundStack | All Of Our Podcasts This digital age device has prevented countless conversations between strangers in public.
Even if they’re not in use, the mere sight of earbuds sends a silent signal to other people: “Don’t talk to me.” I’m not bashing anyone who uses them. I do too.
This is how I know they work well to avoid social interactions. Nonetheless, most people will still engage in a conversation if they're interrupted. Too many of us refuse to engage in a dialogue with other people.
Instead, we’re conditioned to share monologues with strangers on social media. These platforms and their algorithms end up dividing us, similar to national media outlets. Our world view boils down to "us" versus "them," especially when it comes to partisan politics.
Each side lives in separate silos and we get brainwashed into believing the enemy is anyone who doesn’t share our personal values and collective beliefs. My perspective gets altered while flying on a plane above white clouds dangling in the sky like puffy cotton balls. It helps me see the bigger picture, high above our nation and far beyond the daily grind of my differences with others.
Traveling across the country on planes, ferry rides and public transportation, as I did, reminded me that most Americans are decent, considerate and open to a civil dialogue. It’s human nature to connect with each other despite our differences. I experienced this again and again during my vacation with other airplane passengers, Uber drivers, retail clerks, restaurant servers and strangers I’ll never see again.
Without knowing it, they restored my faith in our troubled country, which will get even more volatile as Election Day approaches. Just as much as voting is our civic duty, it's also our duty to leave our silos and look for things in common with other people. It's possible but it takes effort.
And a sense of hope in our fellow Americans. “We’re better than this,” the old lady on that plane said. I didn’t hear her explanation about the definition of a pervert.
But somewhere in her jumble of random thoughts, the notion of perverted patriotism took flight in my mind. In my next column, I’ll examine the dangerous destination of such thinking..
