DARE TO LIVE WITHOUT LIMITS: Turn to yourself

Adversity, problems, challenges, and obstacles. In a perfect world, life would be free of these. Unfortunately, we all encounter these at some point.

We face such issues more often than we would like. When confronted with life’s curve balls, what do you do? Do you blame someone else? Do you fault bad luck? Do you claim you are a victim of circumstances? Do you whine and complain? Do you expect someone else to fix your problems? Whatever your current situation is, a good strategy is to turn to yourself. Regardless of what has happened or why, within you lies the strength and ability to overcome it.



You do yourself a disservice when you take a passive stance, waiting for things to get better or for someone else to bail you out. People who put their well being in the hands of someone else, will be disappointed more often than not. The reason is simple; no one has as much of a vested interest in your well being as you do.

This is not to say that others don’t care about you, it’s just that you are the one whose life is affected. One reason people don’t turn to themselves is because they don’t believe how much power they have to influence the path of their lives. As with many other things, if you don’t believe you can, you can’t.

If you believe you can, you will. Another explanation for people not turning to themselves is because they have never had to take responsibility for their actions. This is common when parents always bail out their children.

As the kids mature, they have not learned that there are consequences for their behavior. Instead they are conditioned to expect to be pulled out of whatever hole they get into. Don’t expect someone else to fix your problems.

If you do, you will be disappointed. Even more importantly, you will become dependent on others while avoiding responsibility for your own life. Regardless of your conditioning or past experiences, you can and should turn to yourself for direction and guidance.

As you develop a sense of self-reliance, your confidence will grow. As this happens, your problem resolution skills will increase as well. How do you begin to turn to yourself? In order to develop any new habit, take small, consistent steps.

The next time you are facing a challenge, say to yourself, “what can I do to make things better?” An answer may not materialize immediately. This is normal. Keep the question in your mind.

Be patient. An answer will come to you, often when you least expect it and when you are not consciously thinking about it. For example, answers have come to people while they are eating, walking, driving, about to fall asleep, and in dreams.

Once an answer comes to you, you must act on it. Only through action will your discovery have the power to make a difference. Remember that there is a solution for every problem.

It may very well take more than one attempt before the correct solution is uncovered. If you need guidance on what path to take, be very selective as to who you chose for advice. Unless someone has already been faced with, and solved a problem similar to yours, they have little advice of value to offer you.

If you are not used to doing it, learning to turn to yourself will take practice and may seem awkward. Keep at it. You will become a stronger, more independent and resilient individual as a result.

NOW AVAILABLE: "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.

com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.

com or write him c/o this paper. © 2007 Bryan Golden.