1 week Ago By Area Agency On Aging 1 B
Caregiving can be tiring, tedious, heartbreaking and so many other things — particularly for those who do it full-time. Add in the holiday season and stress levels can skyrocket. For many, the season of joy presents another set of emotional challenges: Being in a mood to celebrate when your loved one’s health has declined or you’re exhausted, alone or both.
So how do caregivers embrace the generous spirit while juggling their obligations, perhaps to more than one person? “The biggest thing is to ask for help, which can be extremely hard for caregivers because they’re used to giving,” says AgeWays social worker Chelsea DeNio. “Lots of times, other family members will offer help, so take it. Maybe go back to people who’ve offered help in the past and you didn’t take it.
” That might be asking a friend to pick up groceries or watch your loved one while you go out for a while. If you can’t offload some of your responsibilities, you are likelier to burn out. DeNio is a caregiver, too.
To make some time, she takes advantage of online shopping both for gifts and groceries and encourages others to do the same. It removes some of the stressors that the holidays present. Resisting the pressure to maintain rituals that may not work for your loved one is another way to free yourself from some of the pressures of the holiday season.
“Simplify traditions where you can, or start new traditions,” DeNio said. “Things don’t have to be the same every year. Let’s say you’re a caregiver for your mom and your mom is typically the one who has led the holiday baking in the past, and that’s something the family has done together.
With her physical limitations, she might not be able to bear weight. Set her up at a table where she can still participate in a different way.” Everyone has some activity that helps them relax, whether it’s taking a bath, meditating, working out, napping, reading a book or zoning out in front of the TV.
“Do whatever makes you feel whole again, whatever recharges your battery,” DeNio said. Using a respite program like an adult day center is another option for caregivers and loved ones who could use a break. If cost is a factor, ask a friend or neighbor to watch your loved one for a bit, she says.
“During the holiday season, there is pressure to be cheerful, to be more social. For people already feeling overwhelmed or down, it may not be realistic to feel cheerful,” DeNio said. Recognizing your limitations is a good first step.
Don’t be afraid to turn down invitations or say “no” to certain commitments if they will stress you out. “Set boundaries with loved ones and friends, making sure not to overcommit yourself,” DeNio said. Say you don’t have a lot of family or the person you care for doesn’t have much to do.
DeNio recommends finding holiday events outside of the home – such as a senior center, house of worship or movie theater. Driving around to look at holiday lights or visiting an area mall to take in the decorations are a few ways to get out of the house and get into the spirit of the holidays. And call AgeWays Nonprofit Senior Services, a clearinghouse of information and resources to help caregivers find balance in their lives.
The number is 800-852-7795. A few caregiver-focused offerings include: • Trualta, a free, interactive online platform that has a ton of tips on caregiving, including complicated situations. • Caregiver Coaching, a program that pairs caregivers with a volunteer coach who can answer questions and direct caregivers to resources they need.
• Powerful Tools for Caregivers, a six-week workshop that focuses on self-care. This content is provided by AgeWays Nonprofit Senior Services, a nonprofit that serves older adults and family caregivers in Livingston, Macomb, Monroe, Oakland, St. Clair and Washtenaw counties.
We provide services, programs and resources that are designed to help seniors age safely and independently. Call us at 800-852-7795 to get connected..
