2 weeks Ago By Bing Caballero
My cousin Joji joined me on a couple of visits to homes for the elderly in Marikina. “Make it late afternoon Bing so we can go to this nice deli for happy hour.” Why were we doing this? Her son asked: Are you checking in? After inspecting a couple of private homes in the area, we were directed to the Camillus MedHaven Nursing Home, a lush 2.
5-hectare property, well equipped with their own ambulance on the premises. The other homes would have to rely on the barangay ambulance in case of emergencies. “But of course,” Joji said, “there’s a Camillus Hospital near my place.
” Apart from the 2.5-hectare facility in Marikina, they also have an annex down the road and a branch in Antipolo. It was established by and continues to be run by the Order of St.
Camillus. They have daily activities and a lot of outreach groups to provide entertainment on the weekends. Over a cheese platter and wine later in the afternoon, we looked at each other as asked: “Is that us? Sitting around with a bunch of old people on a Sunday afternoon singing kumbaya?” I’d rather be playing bridge at the Elk’s club with the 89ers until my last breath.
A friend called to say his mahjong game was canceled because one of his friends suddenly died of a heart attack the night before. It took me less that five seconds to say, “Well, that’s not a bad way to go. On the way to a mahjong game.
” Death and taxes, right? If only we could control the way we were going to go. A schoolmate, Tess M. was a design consultant for a home care facility in Caloocan.
With lessons learned from her experience in the US, she found a pool of investors willing to set up this 18-bed facility which they named P23. “You know what that means? Psalm 23. You know it right? Three colegialas in the back seat didn’t know.
We looked at each other sheepishly and were saved by Ate Nene who said, “though I walk through the valley...
.” Ah yes, of course. ( Nakakahiya .
For shame, we didn’t know.) Tess said she thought of this because her disabled brother kept asking her to keep him company which she couldn’t do 24/7. Which also brings one to the argument, that while it is our culture to care for our elderly, in good health or not, there are instances where a home for the elderly might be a serious consideration.
What globalization has done Globalization and mobility have seen our generation as parents see our children move abroad with no one back home to eventually “care” for us. The Kampung Admiralty in Singapore was marked as a Blue Zone in an urban setting. Families were encouraged to live with their elders citing that both generations benefitted from this relationship.
That would be ideal indeed. And very Filipino. Except, except, if one needed 24/7 professional care as in the case of Alzheimer’s patients or stroke survivors with only the one sibling left at home to provide care while the others were abroad.
That makes for a very good argument in favor of the nursing home. The Raintree is a private facility featured in a GMA documentary seven years ago. Very nice 5-star hotel like accommodations.
Pricey (I’m guessing) but there’s a waiting list. As one client in the documentary said, she was content that her mother who suffered from Alzheimer’s can “live the rest of her days with dignity.” Charity cases can avail of an impressive facility in San Juan, the Little Sisters of the Abandoned Elderly.
When I visited them, all I could say was Wow! You could eat off the floor! Very well equipped with CCTV cameras, two elevators, a chapel, and a very well-kept garden. They also have a branch in Tagaytay. Except that Joji and I would never qualify as charity cases.
Our WWII generation parents didn’t even think twice. It was written in stone that we would care for them no matter what. (In fact, it’s in the Philippine Constitution, Article XV, Section 4, which states that families are responsible for caring for their elderly members, while the government can provide social security programs.
) So there! You can throw the book at your children should they put you in a home against your will. Well, nothing beats growing old with family. But some of us also say, why not create a little village among friends and we can just grow old together? A family of choice.
This is a popular idea among baby boomers like me. Retired but not tired, alone but not lonely. We can’t drop the ball.
Keep busy, eat wisely, and move naturally and enjoy each day as it comes. – Rappler.com Author’s Note: With thanks to Stella Maris Class ’71 Tess Mendoza, Virma Castillo, Cas Areola, and Grace Barroquillo.
Bing Caballero returns to the literary scene after a long hiatus. She may be remembered for Ishmael Bernal’s Broken Marriage (Urian best screenplay with Jose Carreon) and her Palanca Award for Poetry Songs in Three Continents. The column’s name was inspired by Dan Beuttner’s work on the world’s blue zones .
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