1 day Ago By Mari Otsu
Movies, pop songs, and social media often portray romantic love and physical attraction as the keys to a happily-ever-after. Yet, beneath these trends lingers an undercurrent of longing. The same survey found that 65 percent of women and 45 percent of men secretly hoped their casual encounters would develop into something deeper and lasting.
David Dollahite, professor of family life at Brigham Young University (BYU) with a doctorate in family studies from the University of Minnesota, told The Epoch Times that his research reports that those who believe in, love, commune with, and serve God often have “an array of healing spiritual experiences that range from small moments to remarkable ones” wherein they feel God’s love, grace, forgiveness, and guidance. He shared the transformation story of a man whose behavior was causing harm to his family. One night, while involved in drugs and alcohol, he heard a voice urging him to leave the situation three times.
As he decided to acknowledge God’s guidance and take action, things fell into place, and his marriage began to heal. Krystal Hernandez-Kane, a licensed psychologist with a doctorate in clinical psychology from Bowling Green State University, is an expert in the relationship between spirituality and marital intimacy. “Sanctification is defined as the perception that an aspect of life has divine character and significance,” Hernandez-Kane told The Epoch Times in an interview.
If a couple wants to integrate spirituality into their marriage, she said, they may consider a range of activities, including studying sacred text, engaging in prayer, or attending religious services together. “When a person holds a relationship as sanctified, they are generally more likely to want to protect and preserve that relationship, to invest in that relationship, and devote more time and energy into nurturing that relationship,” said Hernandez-Kane. This sanctification leads to better communication, relationship satisfaction, forgiveness, problem-solving when faced with conflict, and overall commitment, she said.
Many shared that their first marriage lacked a religious foundation, focusing more on physical attraction and romance, which eventually faded, leading to unresolved conflicts and grief. Before their second marriage, they chose to deepen their own faith first before marrying someone with a similar commitment to spiritual growth. Those couples remarked on the difference it made to have the spiritual element in their second marriage.
Dollahite’s and Hernandez-Kane’s insights are reflected in Luís Novaes’ spiritual transformation and second marriage. Originally from Brazil, 43-year-old Novaes, now working in business and finance management in New York, told The Epoch Times that from 18 to 22, he was consumed by lust, which led him into a deep depression. “I cried out to God many times .
.. I desperately searched for a way out,” said Novaes.
After much pain and suffering, he took up a spiritual practice in 2006. Sharing about his first marriage, which ended in divorce, Novaes said, “That relationship was based on lust,” despite efforts to elevate it to the level of sanctification. Novaes thought that if he were to marry again, he would want his wife to share in his spiritual beliefs and practice.
He said that his second wife has been a blessing because, from the beginning, their marriage was based on mutual spiritual growth. The findings suggest that therapists and counselors may benefit from integrating spiritual practices into relationship guidance, particularly for couples aspiring to deeper emotional intimacy. Additionally, the study aligns with the broader concept of post-traumatic growth, illustrating how adversity, when met with spiritual engagement, can cultivate positive transformations in relationships.
Novaes similarly emphasizes that true love is built on devotion, trust, valuing virtues, and understanding, which leads to unconditional support and growth. “I [once] thought that love was based on passion, enjoyment, and fulfillment of desires, but that is exactly what destroyed my previous relationships and others around me,” he said. “[Marriage] can be difficult .
.. But when you take a step back and see how much you’ve achieved together, it becomes something truly magical.
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