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Senatorial candidate Benhur Abalos with family including wife Menchie and father Mandaluyong mayor Ben Abalos. MANILA, Philippines – This Easter, Benjamin “Benhur” Abalos Jr. reflects on the pain of loss, the power of love, and a faith that continues to lead him forward.
Abalos looked back on the silence that surrounded him in the hospital room where his daughter lay unconscious in 2005 and the kind of silence that enveloped his family’s home in 2021, when they learned that their beloved mother, Corazon Abalos, had died alone in a hospital bed, in the middle of a pandemic. These two moments, years apart, left a permanent hole in his heart – and changed everything. “Walang mas matindi kaysa sa mailibing mo ang sarili mong anak,” Abalos said.
“And to lose your mother without even saying goodbye—it’s a grief you carry in silence.” (There’s nothing more painful than burying your own child. And to lose your mother without even saying goodbye—it’s a kind of grief you carry in silence.
) READ: Corazon Abalos, wife of ex-Comelec chairman Benjamin Abalos, dies “It’s the children who bury their parents and not the other way around. Dapat mas mahaba ang buhay ng mga bata [The young ones should live longer],” he said. He prayed for a miracle.
But when it did not come, he surrendered everything to God. “Ang dasal ko noon ay simple lang,” he recalled. “‘Panginoon, ako na lang po.
’ Pero natutunan ko rin—kahit anong gawin mo, may mga bagay talagang ang Diyos lang ang nakakaalam.” (My prayer back then was simple, ‘Lord, take me instead.’ But I also learned—no matter what you do, there are things only God understands.
) For a grieving parent, the pain never truly ends. There are moments of denial, anger, and deep longing—and often, questions that have no answers. “You begin to ask: Will I ever see my daughter again? Where is she now? Makikita ko pa ba ang anak ko? Nasaan na siya? Nawawala ba siya? Makikilala pa ba niya ako kung magkita kami? Masaya ba siya ngayon?” Abalos recalled.
“Just thinking about those questions is enough to break you all over again,” he added. Faith is what gives him strength, according to Abalos. “And when I see others go through the same loss, I assume they’re asking the same silent questions.
That’s when we need to reach out and connect with the grieving.” Years later, during the COVID-19 pandemic, his family lost their matriarch, Cora Abalos. Abalos—then serving as MMDA chair and leading the government’s vaccination rollout in Metro Manila—faced the same heartbreaking reality endured by thousands of Filipino families during the pandemic: they could not be with their loved ones in their final moments.
“Hindi ko man lang siya nayakap. Hindi namin siya naihatid. Wala kaming pagkakataon na magpaalam,” Abalos recalled.
“Isa ito sa pinakamabigat na naramdaman ko bilang anak.” (I didn’t even get to hug her. We didn’t get to bring her home.
We had no chance to say goodbye. This is one of the heaviest things I’ve ever felt as a son.) “Napakahirap,” he said.
“Hindi mo siya mahawakan. Hindi mo siya mayakap. Wala kang magawa kundi umiyak sa harap ng telepono.
” (It was so hard, he said. You couldn’t hold her. You couldn’t hug her.
All you could do was cry in front of the phone.) Abalos finds solace in the time he was able to spend with her mother before she passed. “Before she died, I made sure to be with my mother and my father as much as I could,” he said.
“Whenever I traveled—whether out of town or abroad—I brought them along. I’m grateful for those years. But the truth is, kahit gaano ka pala kahanda, kahit sineguro ko na kasama ko sila sa kanilang pagtanda, losing a parent still breaks you.
” Abalos thus has an advice to all the sons and daughters: “Habang naririyan pa ang mga magulang n’yo, dapat ipadama na natin ang pagmamahal at pasasalamat,” he said. “Huwag nating ipagpaliban. Ang ‘mamaya na’ ay maaaring huli na.
” For Abalos, in those moments, only two things held him together: his faith, and his family. “Tinanggap ko na. Sa huli, ang kalooban pa rin ng Diyos ang masusunod.
Doon ko nakita na sa gitna ng matinding sakit, may pagkakataon pa ring lumalim ang pananampalataya.” After everything he had been through, he found himself asking a question that many people ask during times of loss. “What, then, is the purpose of life?” he asked.
For him, the answer is simple. READ: Abalos urges DPWH to construct motorcycle and bicycle lay-bys nationwide “It’s not about money or power. It’s about taking caring of your family and others.
What truly matters are the people we love and the lives we’ve touched. More than anything, life is about making a difference every single day. The spirit of caring, sharing and giving must live on,” Abalos said.
Subscribe to our daily newsletter By providing an email address. I agree to the Terms of Use and acknowledge that I have read the Privacy Policy . This Easter, Abalos hopes that everyone—especially those who are grieving—will find comfort in the message of the season: that faith and family are the foundations that carry us through life’s most painful moments.
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