2 weeks Ago By Guardian Nigeria
There is the nuclear family and extended family. When a member of a family dies, these two lines of authority (the nuclear and the extended families) are usually involved in planning the burial. More often than not, there is always competition between them.
Each side wants to dominate. This usually leads to nasty burial quarrels. A burial was suspended some years ago because the brothers and sisters of the dead man refused to conform to the burial plans of the grown up children.
This is not how it should be.The nuclear and extended families need to bury previous grievances in order to successfully bury their dead family member. Both sides need to come together and unite to give their dead loved one his/her last honour on earth.
The grief of the loss should unite both sides.Make allowance for each other’s views and be patient with mistakes.It may not be easy at first, but make up your mind to be a peacemaker.
Families should know that periods of grief and periods of burials are periods the enemyuses to cause problems in families. Families should, therefore, pray more together at such periods. The role the deceased‘s children ought to play in their parent’s burial has always been controversial.
In a situation where the children are still young like in the case of a family, the father of the home died living his three children and a few months later, the mother also died, leaving the three young children as orphans. Since the children were young, (the eldest was about 14 years old), the extended family was in charge of the funeral arrangements.However, in a situation where the children of the dead person are grown, they should be given their right to bury their late father or mother.
Aunties, uncles, cousins and other members of the family should know their limitations. They should allow the children to bury their parents. Family members should honour the deceased by standing firmly behind his/her children.
It is not a sign of maturity to use the burial of a loved one to fight for who is the greatest.An aunty flared up during a burial quarrel and said: “I knew my brother long before you were born and I know how I want to bury him.” She is wrong.
In reality, a person cannot love his/her sibling more than his/her children. If we must compare, the children are the offspring of their parents. Their uncles and aunties cannot, therefore, be closer to them.
Genesis 25:9 tells us that Isaac and Ishmael buried their father, Abraham. Genesis 25:29 also says that Esau and Jacob buried their father,Isaac.The children on their part should respect the contributions of other family members and carefully and respectfully put aside those suggestions they do not like.
Love you! They should honour their uncles and aunties. If it were possible for the dead to see what goes on during their burials, many would weep at the rivalries and quarrels among family members.People should, therefore, deliberately give peace a chance to reign during the burials of their loved ones.
Love you!.
